Fearless

***Updated to say: Sorry for the goofy formatting!*** I'm experimenting with a new journal... my computer. It's a new idea I had the other night and one benefit is that I can copy stuff and send it to my blog. Which I might do on occasion like tonight... or whenever I think God wants me to.

(FYI... the "Bill" I'm talking about here is our neighbor who is a professional musician with a connection in Nashville. Bill wants to hear "my tunes" (as he calls them) one of these days and has told me that he'll send my stuff to his guy out there if I want--even though he hasn't heard any of them yet.) Anyway, here's what I wrote. And now I'm off to bed. Ciao!

8.13.2007 10:10pm

I'm waiting for Lowell to come home from a Ranchwood HOA Board meeting and was just enjoying a few moments of peaceful, quiet contentment when my thoughts turned to turning 35 soon. I was thinking about how You, Jesus, accomplished so much in your 33 years here. You fed thousands, You healed and taught and established a church that has stood the test of time like no other, and been tested like no other. All history and time on earth is defined by YOU and those simple 33 years. I started to think about how bold and fearless You were, but realized that You weren't completely fearless. But You didn't ever, EVER, let Your fear stop You from doing what God told/called You to do. You must have at times been afraid, because You were human, and You were tested in every way, yet every time You obeyed the countless commands to FEAR NOT. Help me, Jesus, to push past my fears every day. To obey You whatever the cost.

What am I afraid of right now? Sharing my songs with people? With Bill? Lord, open my eyes to see the truth about what my music is for. Help me to know how to be faithful with it. I don't want what You've given me taken away because I buried it in the ground. Help me to be brave and to believe in Your ability to use me even though there are thousands of songwriters in the world. You have done mighty things for me, Lord, and I DO want to tell as many people as I can about You and who You are and about Your truth and freedom. Don't let me listen to the enemy's lies telling me that my stuff isn't so great or unique or special or that Bill's company/friends don't have the right connections or whatever. Lead the way Lord. I want to follow You. Fearlessly.