Friday, November 21, 2008
Boy. I am amazed at how quickly God answers my prayers sometimes. Remember what I wrote a couple weeks ago time about wanting Him to deal with my ungrateful, whiny attitude? WOW. Did He EVER answer! (It’s always the best when I’m asking for things He’s prompting me to ask for… like He already has something wonderful to give me and He can’t wait for me to think to ask for it on my own – so he helps by making me see I need it, so I’ll want it, so I’ll ask for it, so He can give it to me already!) (Did you get that?) So. The night after I wrote that post I watched the week 6 video session of Believing God by Beth Moore and boy, was she ever fired up!!! She was talking about God's word being alive and active in us and about us needing to USE OUR MOUTHS to speak the truth and tell the mountains in our lives that were in the way of God's will for us to "MOVE IT!" (I wish every one of you would do this study because it is just so powerful and full of truth. God has been speaking to me SO MUCH through it!) As I was listening to her, I just knew God was giving me the answer to my prayers. He was telling me exactly how to break the power of the whining. Not just by praising Him, but by deciding and declaring that with God's strength I WAS GOING TO BE GRATEFUL and telling ungratefulness to get out of the way and out of my heart! I decided I was DONE with complaining and DONE letting it steal so much energy from me. And God agreed. : ) Throughout the next days He showed me verses and truth about how many things were hard for me just because I thought they were hard and about what He really wanted me to be doing with my big mouth. (And in case you don't know me in person, I do have a big mouth. Quite literally!) God also showed me that one of the reasons I was complaining and feeling sorry for myself so much was that I was believing Satan's lies that I was defeated or would never be victorious in certain areas of my life. I had to reject and renounce that lie and start believing and declaring that I was going to be victorious because in 2 Corinthians 2:14, God says so! ("But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him.") God and I still have a lot of things to conquer in my life, but I feel like for the first time in a LONG time, I am living in victory over my old bad attitude. I'm continuing to choose to be grateful and refusing to complain and feel sorry for myself. And the most amazing thing has happened. Not only to I feel entirely different, but God is opening doors for me that have been closed for a long time. In the last 2 weeks He has scheduled me for several upcoming opportunities to use my big mouth to share with others at church in worship and teaching. And even though I'm still not sure how exactly I'm going to have time to do it all, God is doing something new in me and I absolutely believe the doors are now open because I have stopped complaining and living in defeat. Here is my new job description. : ) Colossians 3:15-17 says this: "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." I could go on and on... but am going to save it for next time and stop before you fall asleep. Or before I do. : ) With a Thankful Heart, Melissa
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Our social worker is coming over tonight for our 2nd (out of 4) post-placement visits. He has to see how things are going and write a report that gets sent back to Thailand along with some pictures of Timothy so they can see he really is alive and well.
So this morning I was taking pictures. Because I wanted them to be really current. (right.....) Aren't these kids just too cute?????
And now, if you'll excuse me, I need to work on the questionnaire we're supposed to have filled out to submit tonight... you know... before I can be accused of procrastinating.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Well, I think I'm back... But I'm not making any promises! : ) What I DO know is that I miss blogging and am feeling ready to start talking to you all again! (Even though I'm still not really sure who some of you are... Feel free to delurk anytime!) I do expect there will be some changes around here, though. For one thing, I don't expect to be talking so much about adoption quite so often. While I'm still a HUGE FAN of adoption and how our family has been blessed by being allowed to adopt Timothy, at this point it's not the huge focus of my life that it was a few months ago. As of tomorrow, Timothy will have been home for 2 months (wow!) and in many ways it feels like so much longer. He belongs with us as much as any of the rest of us do. I'm sure I'll still be talking about adoption some, because I definitely do still think about it, BUT I'm hoping that I will be thinking about a lot of other things, too. Especially about God and Truth and the Truths I'm learning from God. For example... Yesterday I determined & declared that I HAVE A DISEASE. I'm still attempting to diagnose it, but I know that the symptoms are: selfishness, self-pity, grumbling & complaining, woe-is-me-ing, whining (OH, the WHINING that goes on in my head!), sighing, depression, blah, blah & blah. Your basic ungratefulness, I suppose. I've tried praising God and counting and thanking Him for all the uncountable blessings in my life. But it doesn't really fix how I'm feeling when I'm feeling bad. It often actually makes me feel worse, because on top of the selfishness, self-pity, etc. (see list above!) I then add GUILT & CONDEMNATION for feeling that way when there are SO many people in the world and even in my neighborhood with REAL problems and not just laundry piles and hungry children and sticky kitchen floors. There are so many people who are really suffering in the world. I AM NOT ONE OF THEM. I HAVE NO EXCUSE. SO. Yesterday, I discovered it was 3 weeks before Thanksgiving and I asked God to PLEASE HELP ME learn how to be thankful and show me what in the world is going on in my heart that is causing me to be so ungrateful. And He has already been showing me that it's even worse than I thought. It's like a cancer that has been effecting decisions I make and how I feel even about having to make decisions (wah!). And you know what? Surprisingly, I am already feeling more thankful and praising God because I've been in places like this before. Often, when I get to a place where I'm feeling the grossness of something in my heart that I hadn't really noticed before, it means 2 things: 1. God is exposing it because, 2. God wants to deal with it and free me from it! Hallelujah! So if you decide to come back and visit me again, hopefully you'll hear more (among other things) about what I'm learning about being thankful. Actually, I'm sure you will. Because God very strongly desires that I be thankful and I know that since I'm asking and it's something He agrees with, HE WILL DO IT. And I'm gonna thank Him when He does!!! See ya again soon. (It's nice to be back.) : ) Y, Melissa