Waking Up...

Yeah, so it's been a while since I've posted anything here! It's funny. When I first started blogging I was quite obsessed with what I was going to write about and would think about it ALL THE TIME. I wanted to have a blog that all sorts of people read (roll your eyes with me, please) and I watched my sitemeter stats to see what the average number of hits per day was and tried to write every other day (so people would keep coming back!) and well, it became a bit much! I recall hearing a DJ (do they still call them that?) on the radio say she used to have a blog and I wondered how someone could ever stop once they'd started? Well, I guess now I know! : )

No, I'm not stopping, but I'm sure not thinking about it all the time like I used to! Probably because right now I'm busy thinking about so many other things. But there's another reason my blog has been so quiet lately. I haven't known what to say!

I've been going through a season lately that has been a bit hard to describe or explain or understand. I like it when I know what I'm struggling with and can explain it. I love it when I know what God is teaching me and doing in me and I can share it with others. But through most of the last few months, I have known God was doing a lot of work on me but I couldn't even put my finger exactly on what it was. I would have fleeting glimpses of Him but then they'd be gone.

Once I had the feeling I was in a spiritual operating room and God was doing surgery on me - which explained why I couldn't see or feel or hear much (I was under anesthesia I guess) as well as why God wasn't talking much. (I don't think surgeons are normally real chatty when they're working.) But I KNEW He was as work doing something deep inside of me.

I've felt like I was pushing through some thick darkness - not scary or depressing (Praise God!) just tedious and confusing. I've known that this was one of those journeys that would be easier to explain or understand once I was through it and could look back and say "OH! That's where I was! That's what we just got through!"

This song from Sanctus Real explains pretty well what I've been feeling. Chaos and peace, not knowing what God's doing, but knowing still that He's definitely doing something!

At other times I've had thoughts about spiritual "seasons" and how this year has brought me through them all. Amazing new fruit (spring and summer), glorious opportunities (fall), and then a time of pulling back and working hard on the roots preparing for future harvests (winter). (That would be now.)

But I think my winter is almost over. I've started feeling more and more like I'm wrestling out of a cocoon or trying to wake up from a long nap - not fully asleep or fully awake yet. This week I found Ephesians 5 (as if for the first time) where it talks about living a children of light and the light making things visible and it reminded me of what I was praying about (and wrote about here) about Creation and the light and when I read Ephesians 5:14 it was as if God was whispering in my ear "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you!"

Yesterday I listened over and over to a fairly new song by Matt Maher called "Alive Again". (You can watch/listen to Matt explain the story behind the song HERE or you can listen to the song HERE.) It expresses so well what I'm feeling... or what I'm starting to feel... waking up, coming alive again... the light on the horizon when the sun's about to rise...

I can hardly wait. And you KNOW that I'm going to be back here to tell you all about it when I finally get the words... because I'm pretty sure Spring is on its way! : )

~Melissa

Mundane and Miraculous

Hi there... Nothing grand to say today, but I wanted to share with you something that's got me thinking and thanking right now. This week I've been reading about two families who I "know" through the Holt adoption forum. They are right now overseas getting ready to bring home their new kids. One family is in Thailand and the other is in India. Both are having beautiful experiences with their beautiful children!

I, on the other hand, am here. Here = getting ready to make dinner, helping my daughter finish her homework that has already caused much frustration this afternoon (how can it take sOOOOO long?????) (And, why are commas, those little marks, so confusing, frustrating and confusing to 3rd graders?). Feels a little mundane and not so exciting here. Life is full of all sorts of days and moments. Mundane and maddening, heartbreaking, deliriously joyful, clearly miraculous... all happening in different ways to different people all over the world at the same time. I don't know how God handles knowing everything at the same time. Just the fact that He can shows He is SO OTHER than we are.

Mostly I just wanted to share a little of the miraculous with you today in case you're stuck in the mundane and could use a breath of fresh air. Go check out these blogs and read about these families who are getting to enjoy the amazing (miraculous) blessing of adoption. I hope they make you smile.

http://8thousandmiles.blogspot.com/

http://5sillymonkeys.blogspot.com/

Looking for God's miracles in today's mundane,

Melissa

You Gotta See It...

I can't figure out a way to post this video on my blog because it appears to just be a Facebook video... But if you're my friend on Facebook, make sure you check out the video I posted on my profile last night. It is guaranteed to make you smile and maybe even laugh along! It's the cutest thing I've seen in a long while! : )

Make your day a happy one, friend! The joy of the Lord is your strength!

Steps of Faith

Back awhile ago Heather wrote something on her blog (here) that inspired me. Here's what she said:

"My dad preached a great sermon last Sunday... He gave an analogy of a string of pearls, and how, if you look, back on the circumstances of your life and string them all up like a string of pearls - when you go through a new trial, you can go back and touch every pearl and say "This trial was preparing me for now."

When I first read that, I was in the middle of wondering what this school year would be like, knowing that Lowell was going back to school to get his masters (did you know that yet?) and how that would impact our lives, plus some other things that I was feeling quite unnerved about. I'm not the kind that relishes and looks forward to change. I'm VERY happy to maintain the status quo in many ways. But God isn't like that. He knows the status quo, if left alone for long enough, will create stagnancy in our lives, so He created life to be constantly changing - whether we like it or not! So, back in June after I read about the "string of pearls" I felt inspired to actually make a necklace that represented some of the "pearls" in my life - steps of faith or times I recall God at work in my life.

That, by the way, is my beautiful daughter and the necklace (which she helped me make) looks much better on her than it did on the table. : ) I made it with her and we talked about things I remembered God doing in my life, times I was afraid and trusted God to help me, or times I didn't know what to do and God led me. Each one of those beads represents something special to me... when I asked Jesus into my heart, trusting God for the money to go to FPC, trips to Mexico, marrying Lowell, praying and hoping and waiting (years) for a baby, each of my kids, church, retreats... just to name a few. I wrote them all down so I won’t forget and I wear it. I wear it on days when I need to REMEMBER that God is faithful and I don't have to worry about the future that I can't figure out. I wear it when I need a tangible, touchable reminder of God’s plan being worked out in my life. And I love it when people ask me about it because I can tell them what it is and hopefully encourage them, too.

And by the way, I’ve given up on figuring out what God has planned for my future – or at least the near future – and how He’s going to accomplish whatever it is that He’s planned. I’ve wondered quite a bit this summer (okay, obsessed) about where He’s taking us and none of it has (yet) turned out like I expected. So for now, I’m just going to keep reminding myself that God knows the plans He has for me. And I don't need to know it all. (SIGH.) Just like He knew how each trial and blessing in my life was preparing me for now, He knows what’s next and what’s down the road. I intentionally left the necklace with extra space and tied so I can add to it as time goes by because I know there will be more to remember and share. But for now, I'll keep remembering and holding on to what I know... He is faithful. He is good. And He knows what He's doing.

Keep walking by faith...

~Melissa

Well hi!

Just wanted to say hello to you all after a month of bloggy silence! This has been quite a month... camping, first days of school for Mikaela, Toby AND Lowell... lots of stuff! This morning I got to go to a Beth Moore simulcast event (she was in Green Bay... it was broadcast live in over 500 satellite locations) and I was SO blessed. God spoke to me about so many things I REALLY needed to hear right now.

One of the last things Beth said was to keep speaking faith to each other. You know how there are times when we need a shoulder to cry on or someone to nod along in understanding... but other times, we need a sister or brother to just speak some FAITH to us! I know I need that right now. I'm sick of whining and feeling sorry for myself and really don't need anyone else to join me in feeling sorry for me. I need people to get in my face and speak the truth (in love, of course!) and remind me of what I know already!

Can any of you relate?

Well, I'm thinking that this blog is one way I can throw some faith out there in someone's direction... maybe even just back at myself. : ) But either way, I'm hoping to be sharing some more soon about what God's showing me. He's doing some deep cleaning in my heart these days and it's not pretty... but I know it's needed. And I know He's good.

What's He been teaching you lately? Any words of faith to share? I'd love to hear it...

See ya soon (maybe even with some pictures!),

Melissa

My Times are In Your Hands

Time flies when you’re having fun.
Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.
They grow up so fast!
Sunrise, Sunset…
Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow!
Time is money.
Time is tickin’ and time’s a wastin’!
Carpe diem!

We are a people obsessed and uncomfortable with TIME. It either goes by too quickly or not fast enough. We either regret or long for the past while we are worried about or impatient for the future. We’re running late and determined to stay awake as long as possible (thank you, Starbucks!) so we can squeeze every second of life out of every day. We sing about it, muse about it, waste it (thank you, Facebook!), talk and whine about it. (When did they get so big??? How is it already the end of July???)

Maybe it’s not the whole human “race.” Maybe it’s just me. But a Google search for “time management” brings up 223 million results. A search on just the word “time”? 3.5 Billion! So apparently I’m not the only one.

I am NOT a good time manager. I’m not good at keeping scrapbooks or remembering things and it makes my heart ache when I think of how fast my kids are growing up and how much I’ve already forgotten about their younger years. I feel like I’ve been going through the last several years with my heels digging into the ground, trying desperately to SLOW THIS WORLD DOWN! Stop the sun! Slow down the clock! Slow down the calendar! Stop already with the growing! I can’t keep up!

Well… I’m done. I quit. Time, you win. I won’t fight you anymore. I can’t manage you. I can’t slow you down or speed you up. BUT I CAN, with Christ’s strength, learn to live with you as my friend instead of my foe. I will stop wasting my today’s missing the past and worrying about the future. I’m going to learn to live “for such a time as this.”

I asked God to show me His truth about time and found many familiar verses. “He has made everything beautiful in its time… ” (Ecc. 3:11) “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.” (Isaiah 43:18) “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matt. 6:34) It’s pretty obvious that mourning over the past and dreading the future are not God’s plan for my day to day life. But the real surprise came when I found myself again in Genesis 1.

“In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth… And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light… God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.” (Gen 1:1, 3, 5) There you have it! The first day. All in just the first 5 verses of the Bible. But He wasn’t done! On days 2 & 3, He created the seas and plants as unmistakable reminders of the passing seconds and seasons, all counting down, as it were, to the end of this world as we know it. But in case we didn’t notice, on the fourth day He also created “lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night” to “serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years.” (Gen 1:14).

One of the first things God created was time. And He called it good! It isn’t evil or meant to steal my joy. With the Psalmist I will choose to say “But I trust in You, O LORD; I say ‘You are my God.’ MY TIMES ARE IN YOUR HANDS...” (Psalm 31:14-15a) God wants me to trust Him with how time passes and rejoice! It’s all counting down to His triumphant return! When I see my children growing up and I’m shocked that it’s time to turn the calendar again, I want to learn to say, “Hallelujah!” I am that much closer to seeing Him face to Face!

“I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “Who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.” (Rev. 1:8) Whether we like it or not, He is the King of the ages and He is returning soon! (Rev. 22:7) As I learn to see my past and my family and my future in the light of eternity, I find a whole new contentment and purpose and perspective as I agree with what my mom always said: This too shall pass! “Amen! Come, Lord Jesus!”

I trust in You, O Lord. You are my God. My times are in Your hands. And I’m glad.