Tuesday, July 01, 2008

The Same and Yet So Different... Part 2!

Some more things I've been thinking about regarding our adoptive pregnancy... When you're pregnant, you're typically the first one to know what's going on. There are exceptions, but usually you find out first that you really are pregnant, you feel the morning-sickness and EXHAUSTION, you feel the baby moving, you feel the first contractions, etc. But when you're adopting, there are other people who know more than I do about my son! There are other women who have mothered him and social workers and doctors who have examined him and a family that loves him and knows him, and there will be a board of officials who will determine and know when we get to have him for good... all before I get to know! There are days when I'm perfectly at peace with that, and other days when it makes my heart ache. But thankfully, there haven't been as many achy days as peaceful days. All by God's grace!!! Another blessing (or not!) about being pregnant is that you are surrounded by many, many women who either are pregnant of were once upon a time and many of them will tell you their stories about being pregnant and labor, etc. whether you want them to or not!!! With adoption, first of all nobody can tell just by looking at you that you are in the process of adopting. (Once Kamin is home, it will be a little more obvious!) : ) But it's harder to find people who know what you're going through. I met a family last week who recently adopted a little girl and it was so wonderful to get to talk with them. And there a woman at our church who is also adopting and I'm so grateful to see her every Sunday! But I'm contemplating putting together (maybe) an adoption support/play/connection group so it can happen more often. We'll see..... I remember when I was pregnant, especially the first time, it was hard to believe there was really a baby inside me that I would be able to hold someday... but as time went by, I only had to feel her move and look at my ever-expanding tummy to know she was really real! This time, I have days when it's really hard to believe I have another child on the other side of the world... but I look at his picture and remember it somehow really is true! He is real and will be ours to keep in a matter of months! And then I'll get an email from our agency that says this: "You'll also need to provide a copy of the '07 return as a component of the pre-travel visa forms that you'll be receiving from me this week." Pre-travel visa forms!!! This week!!! Whenever I get stuff in the mail from Holt I get excited and it seems real (in a surreal sort of way) all over again. And then I panic for a moment when I think of all the work I have to do before then... switching the kids rooms, cleaning out their closets, etc... and life goes back to normal. : ) (Whatever that means!) : ) Melissa

2 comments:

  1. Thanks for keeping us posted about the adoption process. I think God's miraculous work is as much a part of this 'pregnancy' as it was a part of the first two little miracles that he gave you!

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  2. Alicia10:49 AM

    I understand exactly what it feels like to wait and wait. There is such a difference in waiting and not knowing for sure and being pregnant and having a set date that is walking around with you (in your tummy). The wait is so amazing and worth everything. We are now in the process of getting ready to adopt again through the foster care system and my heart is once again getting "ready" for the praying and waiting stage. Thanks for sharing.

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Thanks for sharing your thoughts and heart with me.