Wednesday, October 17, 2007
What to say???
Well, this is the perfect time to write something (Lowell is at a meeting and the kids are in bed) but I have too much to say and don't know where to start. I could tell you about the appointments I had last week with the psychologist and the conclusions he had about my alleged ADD. I could write about the book I finished reading last weekend about the life of Oswald Chambers. I could tell you about what it's been like babysitting my niece Bailey this and last week and what it makes me think about bringing home a toddler from Thailand. I could tell you about the 2 chances I'm going to have to sing (songs I've written!) at church on Sunday and at our Women's breakfast the next Saturday. I could put Stacy's mind at ease by explaining what money-making ventures I've started or I could tell you all about her new puppy. Or I could tell you about all the things God has been teaching me lately about being still and not thinking (i.e. worrying) so much about stuff. So do you see my problem? Well, I guess I'm going to start with the psychologist's conclusions about my brain, because I can see in my decision making process here some of what he was talking about, so why not? To try to make it short, he did a bunch of tests with me and concluded that according to some of the tests I seem to be fine and according to others it seems that I have some attention issues. He also observed from the 567 (yes, 567!) questions that I answered on the MMPI-2 test (google that if you want to know more) that (among many other things!) I seem to think/worry about things a lot and that while I'm not complusive in the OCD sense, I can be a bit obsessive. Hmmm..... Yeah, he was right about that! You can see this in how hard it was for me to decide something as simple as what to write a blog post about. Not really a big deal, and yet I'll go in circles trying to decide. No wonder I'm so exhausted at the end of the day! I probably do more overanalyzing in a day than I need to do in a week. (or half a week. or maybe I'll think about that some more and get back to you.) Dr. G also encouraged me to find a place to work that is free from distractions if I really need to concentrate. That will be a challenge, but since he also determined from all the tests that I was pretty smart, I'm hoping I'll figure something out. (If only smartness was the same thing as common sense I'd be home free.) (And no big decisions have been made about treatment, in case you're wondering.) I was pretty nervous going into the last part of the testing and Jesus really met me on the way there asking if He could just come with me? It was such an obvious thing (He is everywhere and inside me, right?) yet it spoke straight to my heart. He was with me and had been leading me up to that point, so I didn't need to WORRY about what was going to come out of it. I just needed to trust Him and remember He was with me and let Him take care of me. And that's just what He did. : ) So maybe soon you'll get to hear about the other stuff I mentioned at the start of this post. But for now, I'm glad I'm learning to relax and be still more and obsess and think a little less. So far it's been a good thing.