Planting Hope

Once a year, Lowell and I wander the garden section at Home Depot or OSH or a local nursery and choose a plant together. We come home and pick a spot for it in our yard and plant it in celebration of our marriage. It's a cherished anniversary tradition and a symbol of hope for the future.

Sweetheart Cherry Tree - Planted April 2017 for our 21st anniversary

Passionfruit Vine - Planted April 2015 for our 19th anniversary

Maybe it's the farmer's blood running through my veins, but I see planting as an act of faith. We never know for certain if what we've planted will survive and thrive and bear fruit or not. We know some things die. Yet hope and faith say to keep digging and weeding and planting anyway.

Even if you don't know if you'll live in the house long enough to ever taste the fruit.

Even though it could die if it freezes in winter.

Even though dogs sometimes do dumb things and dig stuff up that you've just poured your sweat into.

It's still worth hoping and it's worth planting and dreaming. Especially with someone you love.

Since we moved back from Peru, we've celebrated 3 anniversaries in Fresno. Last year, for our 20th anniversary we planted a Hot Chocolate Calla Lily with deep purple flowers. It was gorgeous. 

I was really bummed that it didn't come back up this year after the extra cold, wet winter we had. Even when the Easter lilies were already in full bloom, there was no sign of life from the Hot Chocolate Calla Lily - just an empty patch of dirt, twigs, and dried leaves where we planted it last year.

I sighed, accepted it just didn't make it, and moved on disappointed.

Until a couple of weeks ago when I noticed some little green spikes poking through the earth. It turns out our Hot Chocolate Calla Lily just sleeps longer than it's relatives and is very much alive after all.

Have you given up hope on anything? Is there something God planted in your heart that grew for a while but now you can't find it or it seems to be dead? Have you left a dream behind because there doesn't seem to be a place for it in your here and now? Be encouraged that not everything that seems dead has died. Dreams and gifts and hearts sometimes have to lay dormant for a season. We wait and hope and trust and keep planting new seeds, but sometimes God breathes new life back into the old as well. 

Look for life today, friends. You just might find it where you've stopped expecting it. 

And whatever you do, plant some hope.

Dream new dreams. Say hello to someone new. Learn and read and smile and encourage and weed and exercise or study and work. Plant something! Change another diaper and teach that little one to tie their shoes. Invest in the future even when you don't know what may come of your efforts.

"So we must not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not give up." ~ Galatians 6:9 (NET) 

Lord, open my eyes today to see what You're bringing to life - either after I thought it was dead or for the first time. Let me see the world through eyes of hope and expectancy. Help me to keep planting and tending Hope. In Jesus' Name and by Your Power and with overflowing Thankfulness, Amen.

To The Ends of the Earth

To the Ends of the Earth

I’m braver with you

Than I’ve ever been on my own

I’m stronger with you

So glad I don’t have to walk alone

Keep following the Father

‘Cause I’m following you

Wherever you go I will go

Wherever you stay I will stay

Where you rest your weary head

I will rest mine too

To the ends of the earth

I will go there with you

I see love in your eyes

Like I’ve never known

I see faith in you

So proud to see how you’ve grown

Keep following the Father

‘Cause I’m following you

Wherever you go I will go

Wherever you stay I will stay

Where you rest your weary head

I will rest mine too

To the ends of the earth

I will go there with you

From the shores of California

To Thailand or Peru

Wherever you go

You’ll find me right beside you

Wherever you go I will go…

Happy Birthday, My Love

Melissa Ens ~ 10.19.2011

When the wind and the wildflowers danced...

On April 14, 15 years ago I married my favorite guy in the world.  He helps me be brave when I'm not feeling it and reminds me that this too shall pass when I'm afraid it won't.  I can't imagine anyone better for me and I can't imagine ever doing the things I'm doing without him by my side - sometimes cheering, sometimes nudging, sometimes pushing or pulling me on.  We are different in so many ways, yet share so much in common.  It's the best of opposites attracting and great minds thinking alike all at the same time.


He is stable and I am dramatic. 
We both love God and God's church.
He can multi-task and I have a one-track mind.
We both are messy.  (hmmm... that's not such a great thing...)

He grew up all over the world and I grew up in the San Joaquin Valley.

We both want to go live in Peru.
He's an extroverted introvert and I'm an extroverted extrovert.
But we both love quiet vacations away from crowds.
I stare at the ocean and think big philosophical thoughts.
He stares at the ocean and thinks "This would be a great place to build a house."
We both dream.


And that's how we spent a couple of days earlier this week...  enjoying the mostly uninhabited coast of California, watching the wildflowers and grasses dance, the seagulls soar, the waves roll and the elephant seals lie around and throw sand on themselves.  On Monday we were sitting in the van enjoying the scenery when some music came on that seemed to fit the landscape so perfectly it was as if the grasses and wind were dancing along on purpose.  That's what inspired this video.  It's a souvenir of sorts of the day we spent wandering around the coast without a schedule or anyone asking if we were there yet or declaring they were starving or any other such emergencies.  Everywhere I looked I saw creation dancing along with us.  And it was lovely. It was fun to dream about making a video of it all with the same music we were listening to and even more fun to actually put it together while Lowell was driving us home and see it turn out just exactly how I'd imagined it.  


So if you have a few more minutes, you can see what it looks like when the wind and the waves and the wildflowers and waterfalls dance...  God is the Master Choreographer to be sure.

Happy anniversary, Babe.  I THANK GOD FOR YOU.  And I love you so incredibly much.

Day 32

Spring Therapy :)

Thank you everyone for your sweet comments after my Spring Tears post.  It all such a learning process - even learning to recognize how we all grieve differently, whether it's over people, or things or seasons or whatever.  But it's good.

This afternoon/evening we were blessed by our pastor's family taking care of our kids so Lowell and I could have a nice date!  We ended up wandering down by the San Joaquin River taking pictures of wildflowers and enjoying the quiet river and lack of people around us.  Here are a few of my favorites...

 

I love this guy...

Day 16

12 Years Later...

I have a tendency to talk a lot on my blog about the funny things my kids do and the crazy things I'm obsessing about. But I don't talk a whole lot about my husband. So tonight I'm going to! : ) Last Monday, Lowell and I celebrated our 12 year anniversary. Even after 12 years of doing his laundry and dishes, I love him more than ever. He is more supportive of me than I am of myself, he loves our kids and is a great father, he is a leader at church, a man of solid integrity , incredibly talented and can build just about anything he decides he wants to.

He also somehow he manages to have a very stressful job and still be fun to have around when he's at home. People (some of whom we've known a very long time) often ask, "Now, what exactly does Lowell do at his job again?" Many other people don't bother asking, but they still don't really understand what he does. So I thought I could give you a little insight here into his job. The other day he got an email from Bill. It went like this:

From: Bill
To: Lowell Ens
Subject: RP

Attached are revised RP and Letter. I was confused because on the HUD call you mentioned 115 units. I got it now though. Based on our call today it may require one more change of 36 ACC/LIHTC to 30 ACC/LIHTC and 6 LIHTC only.

This was Lowell's response:

Bill -- Michael was working the numbers this afternoon on Yosemite rental component. Couple things -- to get enough LIHTC units to cover debt, we need 16 units out of ACC. Too many I think for HUD comfort level and also affects TDC on the remainder since that leaves 20 units ACC with $4.4 million in HOPE VI. He is now shooting for 8-10 units and carrying back some type of other loan to cover about half the perm bond debt. May be another residual receipt or deferred developer fee with terms that allow for longer term repayment. We also think operating cost will actually be lower than TCAC requires in their proforma, so may be additional cash flow to cover the residual payments. Not sure how HUD will view this and may affect ACC subsidy on the remainder of new and existing units? Your thoughts are welcomed. When we come up with the best scenario, you'll need to add this to the letter, but should we wait til then?

Lowell

There. Now I'm sure you all understand exactly what he does. : )

Anyway, I'm so glad I am married to this man and look forward to the rest of my days with him. God knew I needed him and He went to great lengths to make sure we ended up together. And I'm so very grateful.

I love you, Babe!

Y, Melissa