tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-279019322024-03-13T14:26:26.359-07:00Musing Melissamuse: verb \myüz\
1: to become absorbed in thought; especially : to turn something over in the mind meditatively and often inconclusively
2: archaic : wonder, marvel: to think or say reflectivelyMelissa Enshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249931047478891932noreply@blogger.comBlogger343125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-87621499300766385622018-10-11T10:59:00.001-07:002018-10-11T10:59:55.052-07:00What I'm About to WriteI don’t really know what I’m about to write. But that’s part of the fun. I used to do this on occasion, but it’s been a long time since I’ve let my fingers fly over the keys while I waited to see what words would appear on the screen, as if my fingers themselves were a team of writers and I was the reader wondering what would come next.<div style="text-align: center;">
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I love writing with a pen on paper. (Preferable a really good gel pen, thank you. I’m not so picky about paper, though I do prefer it be thick enough so when you turn the page over you can’t see ink bleeding through. That’s annoying.)<br /><br />For the last several years I have favored writing by hand over typing because writing by hand slows down my brain and sometimes I really need that. Naturally, it leads to writing that is more reflective in nature because I have more time to reflect as I write e v e r s o s l o w l y o n t h e p a g e s . <br /><br />But I'm wondering again about this kind of writing. I know in the past when I have written on a screen it has primarily been for my blog - when I had something to share with someone else. Even though my journals might be shared (if I ever finish my book), there I write to God or for myself. On the computer, however, my writing has almost always been with a reader in mind, so somehow it feels different. In college, it was for a professor. When it’s email, it’s for a recipient. When it’s on a blog, it’s for you. (Whoever you might be!)<br /><br />I have wondered and wrestled for a while now about whether or not to start blogging again on a semi-regular basis. The nay-sayers in my mind say not to bother. There are already so many voices in the world. Is one more really needed? Everyone is already so bombarded with perspectives and opinions and people telling them what to think and how to live. It’s exhausting and often ridiculous. My internal nay-sayers are also quick to tell me that if I DO dare decide to start blogging again, I really should redesign my blog first. Or start a new one entirely. (Do I REALLY dare let potential new readers so easily find what I wrote back in 2006 when I first created my blog? Yikes?) AND I really need to rethink what I’m going to write about, because, sheesh. A little focus might be nice. I have so many ideas of what I could write about and subjects I’m interested in or passionate about. It’s hard to decide. Oh. And also? I need to be really careful not to get too preachy, because, after all, who am I to tell people what to think and how to live!?<br /><br />Well. I think it may be time for me to tell the nay-sayers to SHUT UP. (I apologize if that’s a bad word in your house. I am a former kindergarten teacher, after all. I should know better. *wink*) Let’s be honest, anyway. There aren’t multiple nay-sayers in my brain. Me, myself, and I don’t count as 3 voices. While I’ve always loved a good trio (Hello, my sweet sister, cousin, and mother! I miss singing with you!) a good trio this is not. It’s really just me. And it’s time to tell me/myself/I the truth. <br /><br />1. I can blog without preaching. I know how to do that. I don’t want to tell anyone what to think. I just want to share my heart in case it helps someone else out along their way.<br /><br />2. Focus, schmocus. (Not to be confused with hokus pokus.) I realized this morning almost everything I want to share falls fairly neatly into these categories: what I’m learning or need to remember, what I’m holding onto and what I’m letting go of, and maybe what I’m loving, laughing, or still thinking about, too. Simple enough.<br /><br />3. Redesign my blog and hide all of my old posts? Shrug. Not now. Not if it’s going to keep me from writing. (I can always issue a disclaimer, right? You are hereby reminded that stuff I wrote 10 years ago may or may not match what I think anymore!)<br /><br />4. But really, ONE MORE VOICE? Well, in a world where so many people are shouting, I could say no. We really don’t need another voice yelling out there. But what if instead of an angry mob, I can just join the choir? Because is another voice ever wrong if it’s being added to a choir producing beautiful music? NO WAY. Not in my opinion! (I mean, if you’re out of choir robes or space or sheet music or something, you’ve got issues, but they’re solvable. Really.) <br /><br />It’s been a long, long time since I experienced the joy of singing in a choir, but I can still close my eyes and imagine it. The voices are each unique, but blending and harmonizing, taking turns being loud or soft, listening to each other, not overpowering each other, appreciating what each contributes to the whole, as we would follow the conductor together. It gives you chills. It’s stunning.<br /><br />So maybe it’s time again for these fingers to fly and join the chorus of voices out there speaking truth and love, if for nobody else, for the sake of a small group of friends who might listen to my “song” and find some encouragement or a reminder that will strengthen them - even if only for the next steps they need to take. (Sometimes that's all we need.)<br /><br />Yeah. I think it’s time. Me, myself, my fingers, and I all finally agree. We’ll see you again soon.</div>
Melissa Enshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249931047478891932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-36881654619615474612018-05-13T07:55:00.000-07:002018-05-13T07:55:20.773-07:00Mama Bird SingsI wrote this little story last year. I'd love to publish it with illustrations someday, but for now want to share it with you as is. Happy Mother's Day!<br />
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Mama Bird Sings </span></h2>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>By, Melissa Ens </i></span></div>
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<i style="font-size: small;">For Mikaela & all 3 of my Mamas ~ Always keep singing!</i></div>
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Mama Bird lived in a lovely garden. She was a good mama and she was a good bird. Her morning songs filled the garden with joy and at night her babies loved snuggling in close, under her soft wings in their cozy nest.<br />
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Life was sweet.<br />
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One day, however, Mama Bird stopped singing. She was worried and unhappy and even a little bit scared.<br />
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Mama Bird knew the Keeper of the Garden could help her, if anyone could, so she called for him. (He was always nearby.)<br />
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With a kind smile on his face, the Keeper asked Mama Bird what was wrong.<br />
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"Hello, Mama Bird. I haven't heard you singing today! Has something stolen your sweet song?"<br />
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"Oh, Keeper," she sighed. "I couldn't sleep last night and was wondering if you would do something for me." Her feathers ruffled anxiously. "Could you, ummm, make me a shell?"<br />
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"A shell?" the Keeper replied, curious. "Like the seashells you see at the beach?"<br />
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Mama Bird laughed nervously. "Haha! Oh, no. Actually I want a turtle shell. Right here on my back."<br />
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"Really?" The Keeper was surprised.<br />
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"Yes. Really. I was also wondering," continued Mama Bird, now that she had found some courage, "if you would make me big and strong like Mama Elephant. And give me a voice like Papa Lion." She paused. "If it's not too much to ask, Sir."<br />
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The Keeper hid his smile because he could see she was very serious.<br />
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"My dear Mama Bird, whatever has made you ask for such things?" he asked.<br />
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Mama Bird sighed again, deeply this time. "Oh, Keeper. I have three babies. They're so young and I love them so much, but they are so fragile and what if one of them gets hurt? Or sick? What if Papa Bird is gone and I can't protect them or help them if there is danger? WHAT IF I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO? I just thought, maybe, if I could scare bad things away with a roar, like Papa Lion does, or if I could cover our nest with a shell, well, maybe I could keep them safe."<br />
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"Well, that explains two of your requests. But why do you want to be big and strong like Mama Elephant?" asked the Keeper.<br />
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"Oh, I don't even know. I just feel so little and weak when I'm next to Mama Elephant." Mama Bird sighed again, with longing and admiration. "She's just amazing. I wish I could be more like her."<br />
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"Come here, Mama Bird," said the Keeper, patting his shoulder with his hand. Mama Bird fluttered over and perched next to his ear.<br />
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"So you're tired of flying, are you?" the Keeper inquired.<br />
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“What? Oh my, no! I never get tired of flying! It's easy and SO much fun! Watch!" She flew a couple of circles around his head, just to prove it.<br />
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The Keeper laughed as she landed on his shoulder again.<br />
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"But you don't want to sing anymore?"<br />
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Mama Bird was shocked. (She almost fell off his shoulder!)<br />
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"What do you mean? Of course I want to sing! How would my babies go to sleep at night if I didn't sing to them? And who would wake up the garden at sunrise?"<br />
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"Well," said the Keeper, "you could roar like Papa Lion, couldn't you? That would certainly wake up the garden!” The Keeper smiled. “That is what you asked for, isn't it?"<br />
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The Keeper gently scooped Mama Bird into his hand so he could look right into her confused little face.<br />
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"It's true lion voices are good for scaring away enemies. But there's a reason you've never heard a lion sing."<br />
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"There is?" Mama Bird held her breath.<br />
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The Keeper whispered into her little birdie ear. "They can't."<br />
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"Can't what?" asked Mama Bird, looking back at him and cocking her head to the side.<br />
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"Lions can't sing!” said the Keeper.<br />
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Mama Bird was speechless. She thought everyone could sing!<br />
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The Keeper continued. “Lion voices are good for roaring, but not for singing."<br />
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"And another thing, Mama Bird. If I gave you a shell, like a turtle, your babies could sleep under you, but they wouldn't be able to FEEL you. They would only feel your hard shell. Not your downy body. Do you want them to sleep under a shell or snuggle under your wings?<br />
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It's true that mama turtles lay eggs like you do, but they are gone before their babies are born. Baby turtles never snuggle with their mothers in a nest. Shells are good for protecting, but not for snuggling."<br />
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Mama Bird could hardly bear the thought of not being able to pull her little ones close to her side where they love to sleep under her wings.<br />
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"Oh." She said quietly. "I didn't know."<br />
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The Keeper waited while Mama Bird thought about what he had said. All of a sudden she looked up again.<br />
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"Wait. You asked if I was tired of flying. Why? What did you mean?"<br />
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"Well," the Keeper said slowly, taking a deep breath. "If I make you big and strong like Mama Elephant..."<br />
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He stopped and waited.<br />
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Mama Bird knew. Her gaze lowered and she stared at a leaf on the ground below her. "If you make me strong like Mama Elephant, I won't be able to fly.” She sighed again. “I'll be too heavy."<br />
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The Keeper slowly nodded his head.<br />
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Mama Bird was quiet for a minute. She could hear some other birds chirping and lions roaring and elephants trumpeting off in the distance.<br />
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"But what about my babies?" she asked at last. "How can I keep them safe if I’m not big and strong and scary and don’t have a shell to cover them with?"<br />
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"Trust me with your babies, sweet Mama Bird. I'll tend to them when they're sick and watch out for predators. This is my garden, after all! Your job is to sing to them, to pull them close to your heart, and to teach them how to fly. It's what you do best!” <br />
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The Keeper scooped Mama Bird into his hands and placed her on a branch next to him. “Your nest, your songs, your gentleness, your wings, your smallness... They're all gifts for you and your family and friends, dear Mama Bird. You're not a mistake. You're a beautiful bird! You are just right! And the garden loves you just exactly the way you are." <br />
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With a wink, the Keeper whistled as he walked on to visit another part of the Garden as Mama Bird flew back to her nest and her little ones with a new peace in her heart. Maybe she wasn't scary like Papa Lion or strong like Mama Elephant or safe like she had imagined the turtles to be. But she was a bird! <br />
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She could fly! <br />
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She could sing! <br />
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She could snuggle in her cozy nest with her babies and they could be happy together. <br />
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The Keeper was near and promised to watch over them. Mama Bird's job was to trust him and to fill the garden with her songs. <br />
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So that's just what she did. <br />
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<h2 style="text-align: center;">
The End </h2>
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<i>Lord, thank you for my strengths. Please forgive me for discounting them and wishing I were different. My strengths are part of how you made me to reflect you and your glory. But Lord, thank you also for my weaknesses. They keep me coming back to you for help every single day. May your power be perfected in my weaknesses even as you use the gifts you've given me for your kingdom. Teach us all to trust you with how you've created us. We are the work of your loving hands, made in your image. Thank You. In Jesus' Name, Amen</i><br />
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From this Mama’s heart to yours with love, <br />
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Melissa</div>
Melissa Enshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249931047478891932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-77713122462016088702017-05-24T07:07:00.000-07:002017-05-24T07:07:47.778-07:00I Will Also DanceI am so thankful to be part of <a href="http://thebonniegray.com/" target="_blank">Bonnie Gray</a>'s launch team for her beautiful - inside and out - new book, <a href="http://www.whispersofrest.com/" target="_blank">Whispers of Rest</a>. It just released yesterday!<br />
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I've been reading it for close to four weeks* and it's been like I imagine cups of water feel when handed to marathon runners. This devotional has been poetic, practical, and peaceful relief and refreshment on a daily basis during a time when I have desperately needed it.<br />
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Jesus has met me through these pages.<br />
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In recent days, God has used Bonnie's words to remind me my hope is in Him. Not doctors or teenagers or myself or anyone else. My hope is in Christ and the Holy Spirit IN me and IN God's people. But even so, clinging to my God of Hope lately has felt like a tug-of-war with desperation and anxiety trying mighty hard to defeat me.<br />
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Monday this week I tried to count everything as JOY. Ten years ago I wrote a song called "Count It All Joy", and I dug it out so I could remember the words. What amazed me wasn't the song, but ALL of the songs. I found song after song after song after song I had written 3-10 years ago.<br />
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<b><i>Where had my song gone?</i></b><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I opened this Monday afternoon. Even the chocolate was preaching at me!</td></tr>
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I was so sad to see how grief and stress and other problems in recent years had stolen my joy.<br />
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I woke up in the middle of the night and cried a bit. Then I woke up yesterday morning and read these words in Whispers of Rest:<br />
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God whispered to me that it was time to PLAY. A couple of pages later, I read this:<br />
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"<i>Dare to be renewed.</i> Dare to play. Today. ... Make time to play. Be child-like. Laugh, waste some time, SING, dance, try something new. Renew your spirit with joy."</blockquote>
I cried again, but this time touched by the tenderness of the Holy Spirit. I downloaded a song I'd heard on the radio and made it my anthem for the day. I danced and sang in the morning. I exploded marshmallows in the microwave with the kids in the afternoon. I even took pictures of the dishes when I noticed the colors were all matching each other (and the tile and Bonnie's book!) last night.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ok, so I did have to add some red and purple and black and brown eventually. But the blues and whites and silvers made me smile. :) </td></tr>
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As I wake up today, the worries are threatening to steal my joy again. I'm choosing this time, however, to remember the things I'm worried about may be real and hard and confusing, but they are not the end of the story or the whole story. There is more to life than the difficulties and a good way to deflate my anxiety is to focus my attention on something else. To count my blessings and remember the Blesser.<br />
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I will still grieve when I need to grieve and work when I need to work. This marathon is far from over and I have to keep running this race. So, run I will.<br />
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<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">But I will also dance.</span></i></b></div>
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(You've GOT to hear this song. Dance with me?)</div>
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<i>In His Joy,</i></div>
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<i>Melissa</i></div>
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<span style="text-align: start;"> *In order to participate in the <a href="http://www.whispersofrest.com/" target="_blank">Whispers of Rest</a> Launch Team and write a review of the book (which I'll do in full once I've finished it in a few weeks), I was given an advance copy of the book. (Yippee!) <a href="http://thebonniegray.com/whispersofrest/" target="_blank">Whispers of Rest</a> is a 40 day devotional detox designed to help the reader hear God's voice and enter into His rest. It's now available everywhere books are sold! Check out Bonnie's website for more info and free downloads, and join us June 5 for a 6 week <a href="http://thebonniegray.com/whispersofrest-bookclub/" target="_blank">online book club</a>. </span></div>
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Melissa Enshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249931047478891932noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-24228032041839341922017-05-08T20:23:00.000-07:002017-05-23T21:49:37.827-07:00Planting HopeOnce a year, Lowell and I wander the garden section at Home Depot or OSH or a local nursery and choose a plant together. We come home and pick a spot for it in our yard and plant it in celebration of our marriage. It's a cherished anniversary tradition and a symbol of hope for the future.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">Sweetheart Cherry Tree - Planted April 2017 for our 21st anniversary<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 12.8px;">Passionfruit Vine - Planted April 2015 for our 19th anniversary</td></tr>
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Maybe it's the farmer's blood running through my veins, but I see planting as an act of faith. We never know for certain if what we've planted will survive and thrive and bear fruit or not. We know some things die. Yet hope and faith say to keep digging and weeding and planting anyway.<br />
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<i>Even if you don't know if you'll live in the house long enough to ever taste the fruit.</i></div>
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<i>Even though it could die if it freezes in winter.</i></div>
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<i>Even though dogs sometimes do dumb things and dig stuff up that you've just poured your sweat into.</i></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><b>It's still worth hoping and it's worth planting and dreaming. Especially with someone you love.</b></span></div>
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Since we moved back from Peru, we've celebrated 3 anniversaries in Fresno. Last year, for our 20th anniversary we planted a Hot Chocolate Calla Lily with deep purple flowers. It was gorgeous. </div>
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I was really bummed that it didn't come back up this year after the extra cold, wet winter we had. Even when the Easter lilies were already in full bloom, there was no sign of life from the Hot Chocolate Calla Lily - just an empty patch of dirt, twigs, and dried leaves where we planted it last year.</div>
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I sighed, accepted it just didn't make it, and moved on disappointed.</div>
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Until a couple of weeks ago when I noticed some little green spikes poking through the earth. It turns out our Hot Chocolate Calla Lily just sleeps longer than it's relatives and is very much alive after all.</div>
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Have you given up hope on anything? Is there something God planted in your heart that grew for a while but now you can't find it or it seems to be dead? Have you left a dream behind because there doesn't seem to be a place for it in your here and now? Be encouraged that not everything that seems dead has died. Dreams and gifts and hearts sometimes have to lay dormant for a season. We wait and hope and trust and keep planting new seeds, but sometimes God breathes new life back into the old as well. </div>
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Look for life today, friends. You just might find it where you've stopped expecting it. </div>
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<b><i><span style="font-size: large;">And whatever you do, plant some hope.</span></i></b><br />
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Dream new dreams. Say hello to someone new. Learn and read and smile and encourage and weed and exercise or study and work. Plant something! Change another diaper and teach that little one to tie their shoes. Invest in the future even when you don't know what may come of your efforts.</div>
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<span style="color: lime; font-size: x-large;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">"So we must not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not give up." </span></span><span style="color: lime; font-size: x-large; font-weight: normal;">~ Galatians 6:9 (NET) </span></h2>
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<i>Lord, open my eyes today to see what You're bringing to life - either after I thought it was dead or for the first time. Let me see the world through eyes of hope and expectancy. Help me to keep planting and tending Hope. In Jesus' Name and by Your Power and with overflowing Thankfulness, Amen.</i>Melissa Enshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249931047478891932noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-52594538592997151192017-01-14T11:04:00.000-08:002017-01-14T11:04:51.176-08:00Where there's a Will there's a WhyIt's often said, "where there's a will, there's a way." I'd like to propose, however, that where there's a will, there's also a "<b>why</b>" and where there's a plan, there's also a <b>PURPOSE</b>.<br />
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I have a tendency to make plans and to-do lists like there's no tomorrow. (Really. I often feel like everything has to get done TODAY, even though that's rarely the case.) Even worse is how often I make plans without considering the purpose behind them. My motivation often comes from feeling like "I have to get X, Y, and Z done" rather than paying attention to WHY I want to get them done or why they need to be done (if indeed they do.)<br />
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At the end of 2016, I started noticing the word "Purpose" here, there and everywhere. It's turned into my word for 2017, and I'm hoping I'll learn to pay more attention to the purpose behind my plans and that I'll trust and rest in the Purpose behind God's Plans, as well.<br />
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<span style="font-size: 12.8px;">Job 42:1-2 1"</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Garamond, "Times New Roman", times, serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;"> </span><span class="s 06030" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Garamond, "Times New Roman", times, serif; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify;" title="06030">Then</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Garamond, "Times New Roman", times, serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;"> </span><span class="s 0347" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Garamond, "Times New Roman", times, serif; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify;" title="0347">Job</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Garamond, "Times New Roman", times, serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;"> </span><span class="s 0559" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Garamond, "Times New Roman", times, serif; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify;" title="0559">answered</span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Garamond, "Times New Roman", times, serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: justify;"> </span><span class="s 03068" style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Garamond, "Times New Roman", times, serif; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify;" title="03068">the <sc style="font-variant-caps: small-caps; font-variant-numeric: normal; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Lord</sc></span><span class="s " style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, Garamond, "Times New Roman", times, serif; font-size: 14px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: justify;" title="">:</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;">'</span><span class="s 03045" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: start;" title="03045">I know</span><span style="text-align: start;"> </span><span class="s 03588" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: start;" title="03588">that</span><span style="text-align: start;"> </span><span class="s 03201" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: start;" title="03201">you can do</span><span style="text-align: start;"> </span><span class="s 03605" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: start;" title="03605">all</span><span style="text-align: start;"> </span><span class="s 03808" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; text-align: start;" title="03808">things; </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;">no</span> <span class="s 03201" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" title="03201">purpose</span> <span class="s 04209" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" title="04209">of yours can be thwarted</span>;"</div>
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I last posted on this blog in September '16 about starting a new teaching job. In the months that followed, I didn't take time for blogging because I was too busy learning how to be a teacher and a wife and mom all at once. At the end of school in December, however, my wise husband helped me realize we had come to a point as a family where something needed to be let go of in order to pursue better health for multiple members of our family. We couldn't keep going the way we were going. Changes needed to be made and or pursued.<br />
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So just before Christmas break, I turned in a letter of resignation and two amazingly supportive administrators sat with me while I told my students I wouldn't be coming back as their teacher after Christmas. We cried together and hugged each other and took comfort in knowing I'll still be around to say hello (since my boys are still there!), even though it isn't the same. (I can't believe how much I miss my students already! And yes, they will always be "mine".)<br />
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A few weeks before my resignation, God had spoken the word 'timing" to a friend of mine for me when we were praying together. Neither of us really knew what it meant, but I took it as a signal to keep trusting. When I finally (suddenly) realized I needed to quit, I hoped and prayed it meant He was in charge of the timing. I KNEW it was the right choice at that point, but hoped it also meant God had a teacher in the wings to take my spot before the kids came back from break. AND HE DID! The school was able to hire someone to take the class and he was there (with his decades of teaching experience!!!) on Monday this last week when they all went back. That was my biggest concern and I believe with all my heart God provided. I am so thankful.<br />
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So what now? I'm walking through the process of signing my daughter up to homeschool online for a semester, and getting ready to work part-time at my husband's non-profit while their preschool director is out on maternity leave. I'm trying to get caught up on all that was ignored around my house when I was teaching full-time. And I'm hoping I'll get to work on my book again! (Blogging semi-regularly might even happen again. We'll see!) I'm wondering what the purpose is in all this change and finding comfort in knowing God's purposes can't be thwarted (Job 42:1-2) and that His ways and thoughts and purposes and plans are higher than mine (Isaiah 55:8-9). I'm confident there's a WHY behind His will and a PURPOSE in the middle of His plan. Even if I never get to know what it is, that's okay.<br />
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He says, "Trust Me."<br />
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And that's just what I plan on doing. On PURPOSE.Melissa Enshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249931047478891932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-14582808767356194212016-09-11T22:23:00.001-07:002016-09-11T22:23:25.806-07:00Ready or Not!I was struck this morning by how many big things happened to Mary that she couldn't have felt ready for.<br />
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I guess first, though, I should clarify what I imagine it means to "feel ready". For me, feeling ready has to do with things feeling under control. I feel ready and prepared for something when I've had time to think through what's going to be needed and I've had time to make the appropriate preparations. I also feel ready when I've had time to process the emotions and/or issues that come with whatever I'm preparing for. According to Dictionary.com, I'm right.<br />
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<header class="luna-data-header" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px;"><span class="dbox-pg" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 20px;"><span style="font-size: 50px; line-height: 1.1;"><a href="http://www.dictionary.com/browse/ready?s=t" target="_blank">ready</a> </span>adjective</span></header><br />
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<span class="def-number" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; float: left; padding-right: 5px;">1. completely prepared or in fit condition for immediate action or use:</span><br />
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<span class="dbox-example" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic;">troops ready for battle; Dinner is ready.</span></div>
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<header class="luna-data-header" style="background-color: white; box-sizing: border-box; color: #666666; font-family: verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 22px;"><span class="dbox-pg" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 20px;"><span class="last-syllable" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 50px; line-height: 1.1; z-index: 2;"><a href="http://www.dictionary.com/browse/prepared?s=t" target="_blank">prepared</a> </span>adjective</span></header><br />
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<span class="def-number" style="box-sizing: border-box; display: block; float: left; padding-right: 5px;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;">1. </span><span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">properly</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">expectant,</span> <span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">organized,</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">or</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">equipped;</span> <span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">ready:</span></span><br />
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<span class="dbox-example" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-style: italic;"><span style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">prepared</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">for</span> <span class="oneClick-link" style="box-sizing: border-box;">a</span> <span class="oneClick-link oneClick-available" style="box-sizing: border-box;">hurricane.</span></span></span></div>
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Was Mary expecting to be expecting before she and Joseph were married? No. She hadn't been mentally gearing up for an angelic visit announcing to her that she was about to become pregnant by the Holy Spirit. She wasn't that kind of ready.<br />
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Was Mary expecting to give birth in Bethlehem? She might have known it could happen, but her birth plan wasn't followed. There was no place for them to stay! I don't believe she gave birth alone. (Seriously? I don't care how busy they were, women in Bethlehem would have gone to help once they knew she was in labor. It's what women do!) But she didn't get to interview doulas and go over her preferred pain-management strategies with anyone. She gave birth in a strange place that wasn't prepared for her and she couldn't have felt ready and under control.<br />
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Then again sometime later, she was woken up by Joseph saying Gabriel had come by again. They had to leave for Egypt. Nothing was packed. Goodbyes hadn't been said. Was she ready? Umm, no. Not in normal human terms, anyway.<br />
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Oh, this God we serve! Personal and wonderful, merciful and gracious, faithful and always present. Yes, yes, yes. Predictable? Controllable? Not really.<br />
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<a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=isaiah+55%3A8-9&version=NET" target="_blank">God's ways aren't ours</a>. Sometimes that means that He is working behind the scenes preparing us for things without our awareness. Sometimes He surprises us! Sometimes He asks us to do things that we don't FEEL ready or prepared for. Or maybe we trust that He has prepared us and we're ready in some ways, but not in others because so many details are still out of control.<br />
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Have you guessed that's where I am right now? You may or may not already know that when school started this year I was expecting (=ready and prepared!) to spend another year tutoring at the school where our boys attend. I loved it last year and though in the summer I had wondered if God was leading me to something else, by the time school started I figured that I was in for another part-time, pretty-easy-job year.<br />
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You know where this is going, don't you?<br />
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Tomorrow I'm officially taking over one of the 4th grade classes at our school. I'm going to be a real-deal teacher again. After almost 16 years.<br />
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And in many ways I don't feel ready or prepared. My house isn't all organized and our meals aren't all planned and the laundry isn't all done and the classroom isn't all laid out and the curriculum is still being developed. I have SO. MUCH. TO. LEARN.<br />
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That's why I'm so glad that God doesn't care about Dictionary.com.<br />
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God looks at the heart. God decided who is and isn't ready. God brings new things about when we aren't expecting it and tells us to walk by faith and not by sight. He promises His overflowing, abundant grace.<br />
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<span class="passage-display-bcv" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline; font-size: 18px; margin: 0px; padding-right: 10px;"><a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+cor+9%3A8&version=NET" target="_blank">2 Corinthians 9:8</a></span><span class="passage-display-version" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; display: inline;">(NET Bible)</span><span class="text 2Cor-9-8" id="en-NET-28949" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="versenum" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 12px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 22px; position: relative; top: 0px; vertical-align: top;">8 </span>And God is able to make all grace overflow to you so that because you have enough of everything in every way at all times, you will overflow in every good work.</span></blockquote>
As my family and I walk into this new season, that will surely be challenging for all of us in different ways, I am praying that my response to the challenges will be like Mary's. I'm praying my soul will magnify, exalt, glorify, praise, and declare the greatness of the Lord. He is good and He is with us.<br />
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And really? As long as God is ready, I can trust that in Him I am, too.<br />
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Melissa Enshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249931047478891932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-21504325247575213652016-03-12T22:22:00.000-08:002016-03-13T17:14:46.412-07:00Taking off King Saul's ArmorI don't know why it's so hard to do this. Except that maybe I do. It's rarely easy to admit mistakes and doing so publicly is not most people's version of fun. (Asking for help isn't something I'm good at either.) But I want to tell you what God's been teaching me this week, so I'm doing it anyway.<br />
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As I mentioned <a href="http://musingmelissa.blogspot.com/2016/01/giant-baby-steps.html" target="_blank">a couple of posts</a> ago, I've been working on writing a book. In the last several months, I've ended up on several writers' email lists and have received many emails with suggestions for how to write or market a best-seller, how to create a book proposal, and all manner of ways to expand your "platform" (or following or audience or reader list or whatever.) I've read some of it and questioned much of it, partly because I don't really want to write a best-seller and don't want the pressure (that I imagine) of having so many readers. I listened, though, and while I think God perhaps <i>was </i>leading me to work on a book proposal (in part to clarify to myself what I was thinking) I took that and ran with it where God wasn't leading. At least that's how it seems now.</div>
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Yesterday I finished reading 2 Chronicles. Unlike 1 & 2 Kings (which follows the history of both the kings of Israel and the kings of Judah) 1 & 2 Chronicles sticks to the Davidic lineage through the kings of Judah. Some of Judah's kings completely disregarded and blatantly dishonored Yahweh - the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob - but there were several kings who truly did all they could to pursue, honor, worship, and obey Yahweh alone. They were inspiring, until they would do something foolish, like look to another country for protection or ignore the messengers God sent them. Often it was because they listened to the wrong advice.</div>
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I marveled and shook my head at it all, and finally realized I was just like them. God has brought me so far and carried me through so much. He put on my heart to write down my story and the lessons He has taught me on this journey, even when it didn't seem logical to do so. From beginning to now, He has led me (I think and hope) by His Spirit to walk and write by faith. <i>Why would I think I should abandon this work of faith and take the path advised by the experts? </i></div>
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"Hold on, Melissa. What are you talking about?"</div>
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Well, it's like this. "Experts" suggest that if you want to get a book published and purchased, you should probably have a base of followers first. This base (also known as a "platform") could be blog readers, email list subscribers, or Instagram, Twitter or Facebook followers, to name the most common. Experts also suggest you write a lot. Write everyday. Whether or not it's published on a blog or kept private, it's good to practice, because the more you write, the more you'll develop your "Voice" and become a better writer. Working to get your writing shared as a guest post on other blogs is recommended, as well. They also suggest you read a lot, because you'll get ideas and be able to compare your writing voice to other authors, discovering what might be similar about your styles and what might set you apart. All this can be just fine. (It actually sounds smart, doesn't it?) There's nothing wrong with any of it -<i> unless you start thinking about all of it too much and it starts to overload your brain and heart because it's not what God is leading you to do!</i> I haven't tried to do it all. But I have started trying to post more and think more like a real "writer" and even more than the posting,<b><i> all of </i><i>the thinking</i></b> has been a big distraction. My heart and home and family have suffered a bit for it. The big proof, however, might be that I haven't gotten hardly anything done recently on my actual book - which is what I'm most certain I am being led to work on. </div>
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Back to the kings. I keep thinking about Saul and David - specifically when the Israelite army was being taunted by the Philistines and David said he would face Goliath. Saul offered David his armor and David tried it on. He decided not to wear it because he wasn't used to it and he trusted God to lead and protect him, even without King Saul's armor. All of my thinking about readers and writers and platforms has been my equivalent of trying to fight wearing King Saul's armor. Saul's armor fit him, but it didn't fit David. Those strategies might fit other writers, but they don't fit me right now. So I've unsubscribed from some things and quit some other things.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">I'm taking off King Saul's armor.</span></div>
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Jesus says his yoke is easy and his burden is light. The yoke he has for me fits me and the stage of life my family is in right now. It will still involve work, but it will be a work of faith rather than a work of fear that my efforts won't be enough or that God won't come through if I don't follow the advice of others. </div>
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The first step I believe Jesus is leading me to take is to invite people to pray for me. It's time I stop trying to do this mostly on my own. A friend who has prayed for me for years already recently said, "I'm sure you have other people praying about this..." and I hemmed and hawed and had to admit I haven't regularly asked for prayer about this. Gulp.<br />
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So I'm swallowing my pride and repenting and admitting I can't do this without more people. My husband, amazing as he is, can't support me alone. Neither can one praying friend. Others are praying some, but I haven't shared with them enough. I need a team of people who believe God is calling them to join me in making this book happen.<br />
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<span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: large;"><b><i>In all my life, I don't think I've ever done anything significant for the Church and the Kingdom of God without a group of people praying me through. </i></b></span></blockquote>
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And I need to start talking to these pray-ers more about specifically how they can pray for me. If you're interested in this, as far as I'm concerned, it will have to be God. You hardly even know what I'm writing about. And <i>please don't feel obligated</i>. If you've read this far, I already consider that amazing. :) But if you actually <i><b>want </b></i>to pray for me (and my family) as I write by faith and walk where God leads, let me know somehow. Leave a comment, send me a text or a message on facebook or something. I'll figure out later how we'll communicate. I just know for now I've got to ask.</div>
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<i>Lord, I think this is what You wanted me to do. Show me what's next. Move in the hearts of people You want on this team. It's not even mine. It's yours. It's all yours. My story, the book, my life. It's all yours. Show us what to do. Thank You for showing me I needed to let all that other stuff go. You are who I need to hold on to. But thank you for the Body of Christ. You made me to need them, too. </i></div>
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<i>In Jesus Faithful Name, Amen</i></div>
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Melissa Enshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249931047478891932noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-39127235201962716122016-03-02T17:26:00.001-08:002016-03-02T17:27:54.950-08:00Walk with MeI went for a walk this morning. The peach trees (or nectarine trees. I'm not actually sure.) are blooming and I hadn't taken time to stop and savor them yet this year. I thought about you when I was out there and wondered what it would be like to take you on a virtual walk with me... Have you ever seen an whole orchard in bloom?<br />
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<i>Parked here next to an old olive grove, <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">it's just us and the crows.</span></i></div>
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<i>But the blossoms are gorgeous. Even more beautiful than my phone can capture.</i></div>
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<i>Ever since I was a little girl I've been mesmerized by rows... rows of trees, rows of cotton plants, rows of vines... They make me happy.</i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;"><i>It's interesting how grapes don't have blossoms like the fruit trees. There are signs of new growth, though. See the green new leaves popping out?</i></span></div>
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<i>The olive trees behind us still have a few olives hanging on them. Drying out leftovers after the harvest, I guess.</i></div>
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<i>Walking back, I can't help but notice the branches that have been pruned in preparation for this year's harvest. The trees are beautiful partly because they've been lovingly, painfully cared for by the workers who aren't afraid to prune back branches so there will be better fruit.</i></div>
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<i>Some blossoms started blowing in the breeze. It was dreamy, snowfall-like loveliness. I picked up a few scattered petals to take home. <span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">That's when a word came to mind:</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> GENTLE.</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue light" , , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif;">To carry a handful of petals, you have to be gentle. You can't hoard and carry too many, or they'll be crushed. It reminded me of one of the lessons God taught me at the retreat this past weekend.</span></div>
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I have to take the pressure off of my life, or I will crush it instead of letting the GENTLE life of Christ in me CARRY my life. </div>
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<i>My heart was made for GENTLE living, not PRESSURED striving.</i></div>
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<i>My kids were made for GENTLE training, not HARSH impatience.</i></div>
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<i>My marriage was made for GENTLE love, not DUTIFUL obligation.</i></div>
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"I therefore, the prisoner for the Lord, urge you to live worthily of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and GENTLENESS, with patience, bearing with one another in love, making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." ~Ephesians 4:1-3 (NET)</blockquote>
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We are also instructed to allow the Spirit to grow the fruit of GENTLENESS in our hearts (Galatians 5:23), to clothe ourselves with GENTLENESS (Colossians 3:12), and to let everyone see our GENTLENESS (Philippians 4:5). </div>
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Why? Because Jesus said, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke on you and learn from me, because I AM GENTLE and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and my load is not hard to carry." ~Matthew 11:28-30 (NET)</div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">We can be gentle with each other and on ourselves, because God is gentle with us.</span></i></div>
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My friends Wendy and Debby both became grandmothers yesterday. They are <b><i>so excited</i></b>, and rightly so. Their granddaughters are adorable. While neither of them have older siblings or cousins, you can bet that if a toddler or other child was holding or touching those baby girls, the word "GENTLE!" would be on the lips of those grandmas. Why? Because we treat babies with gentleness. It's instinctive.</div>
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<i>It's RIGHT. </i></div>
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Friends, let's remember that it's also right to treat ourselves and those around us with gentleness. Somewhere along the way, it becomes less instinctive. By the grace of God, though, we can learn again. Because we can learn from him. And HE IS GENTLE.</div>
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Thanks for walking with me today, friend!</div>
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Have a blessed and gentle day. :)</div>
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See you next time,</div>
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Melissa</div>
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Melissa Enshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11249931047478891932noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-21950755433746913982016-01-29T16:52:00.003-08:002016-01-29T20:06:18.709-08:00Giant Baby Steps<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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We often think of big decisions as giant steps or leaps of faith. In my experience, however, what appears as a big decision is likely made up of countless little choices. Baby steps.<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">And even baby steps sometimes feel like terrifying, giant leaps.</span></i><br />
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Three examples come to mind.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">ADOPTING</span><br />
I remember laughing once or twice at the cautions people gave us during our adoption process. Something about not rushing in. I laughed because with all of the papers and interviews and fingerprints and processes (and money) involved, I'm pretty sure nobody has <i>ever </i>adopted internationally on a whim. It would be impossible. Every step required effort, from researching agencies to attending trainings to home studies to immigration paperwork. Over and over we made the choice again to pursue adopting our son. It was not one giant leap. There were hundreds of steps involved. (Do I need to say I'm so glad we did it? I'M SO GLAD WE DID IT.)<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">MOVING OVERSEAS</span><br />
There <i>may</i> have been less paperwork involved with moving overseas as missionaries, but there were just as many steps and decisions. Like when to... Tell the family. Contact the missions agency. Tell our pastor. Fill out the first application. Tell church leadership team. Don't tell anyone else. Attend the week-long interview. Fill out the rest of the application. Sign up for psychological evaluation. Say yes to the invitation to training. Tell the rest of the church. List the house for rent. Move to Canada for training. Learn to say, "eh?" and drink Tim Horton's. (wink.) Say yes to vulnerability with trainees. Say yes to Peru. Figure out a potential timeline. (I think you get the point.) There were a lot of steps and each one required effort and courage and determination and making a choice. Over and over we had to choose to keep going rather than turn back. It was in that season God taught me this important lesson:<br />
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<b><i>Indecision and doubt are enemies of perseverance.</i></b></blockquote>
It is very, very hard to persevere when you haven't made up your mind or aren't sure you can do something.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">WRITING A BOOK</span><br />
This is the example I am living right now. Most of you don't know that I have been dreaming for the last several years about writing a book (because I haven't made the choice and taken the step to tell you!) about our journey to Peru and back. I have had this little project tucked away in my heart and our dropbox because I'm scared of showing it to practically anyone. I'm slowly working on it, but have wrestled over and over and over with whether or not I really want to do it. (Remember what I said up there about indecision and doubt?)<br />
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Every time I decide (once again), "Yes. I am going to write this book." another choice confronts me. So maybe I'll write it, but will I let anyone read it? Maybe. Maybe I'll get it printed by my friends in Peru and keep the copies in my trunk and whenever I feel led to share <i>my soul on paper</i> with someone I can hand them a copy. (Sounds safe and fair enough.) OR will I sell it online so <i>anyone </i>can buy it? Will I tell The World or just my little world? Will I dare to go to this retreat coming up by some authors I like? Because if I do, I'm pretty sure my safe little boat is going to get rocked and WHAT IF GOD TRIES TO LEAD ME TO ACTUALLY TURN IN A BOOK PROPOSAL TO A REAL PUBLISHER??? (Hold on while I hyperventilate just a little bit, please.)<br />
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Even though my email inbox is flooded with the secrets to a great book launch and how to write and market a best-seller, I don't actually want to go there. I've just barely accepted the idea of a quiet, little printing process..... that I can control.<br />
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(I typed those last words r e a l l y s l o w l y . . .)<br />
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<i>Lord, is that really what this is about? I want to keep control of my story because I don't trust others to be kind and I don't trust You to protect my heart in the process? I'm so sorry.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>Friend, maybe you're in the middle of your own Big Decision that is made up of lots of tiny choices. Can we do this together? Even if we aren't <i>quite ready</i> to say "YES" to the next step, can we at least say "NO" to some enemies?<br />
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<i>By your power and in your name, Jesus, I say no to fear. I say no to doubt. I say no to my desire to control and protect my story and my heart. I say no to fear of failure. I say no to fear of man. To fear of rejection and to worry and anxiety. And I do say yes to You, Holy Spirit. Yes to your power at work in my weaknesses. Yes to weakness turned into strength. And yes to letting the Family of God encourage me in this journey.</i><br />
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I have held back sharing because I've been afraid people wouldn't understand my dream and I wouldn't feel validated and that might mean I should quit. I've also felt like I needed to be sure all by myself before I shared with anyone else because I needed to not depend on validation from others. This morning, however, I believe God showed me the third way. (There's almost always a third way.)<br />
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<b><i>Share with others in the Body, not for the sake of validation, but for the sake of mutual encouragement.</i></b></blockquote>
What would it be like if I invite you to take this journey with me? What if I let you and others encourage me? What if just being in this with me encourages you on your journey and inspires you to take your own scary baby steps?<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">What if I stop making this about me and instead make it about God and His people?</span><br />
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<i>That's a lot harder to say "no" to.</i><br />
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If nothing else, I'm <i>sure </i>I don't want fear to be my reason for not making a choice. Even if I take no other steps today, I may find saying "no" to fear is a big enough baby step after all. For today, at least.<br />
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Walk with me?<br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>~Melissa</i></span><br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-90810171082362740922015-02-08T17:20:00.000-08:002015-02-08T18:45:54.370-08:00Whispers of HopeGod has been going out of his way (though really it just is his way!) to speak HOPE to me in the last few days. In books, on walls, in songs, and in Scripture, over and over and over again I keep seeing this word: HOPE.<br />
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It is touching my heart in tender, merciful ways. Driving home from Shaver Lake this morning was worshipful. The mountain vistas and rocks and trees and hills seemed to be breaking into song all around. The beauty was stunning. These drought-stricken hills are a brilliant green, for a little while anyway, and I didn't want it to end.</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Can you see the rainbow off in the distance, just over the hill?)</span></div>
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While the green was lovely, I was most captivated by the oak trees. </div>
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It's hard to tell the difference between dormancy and death when you can only see the surface, but there they stood. Survivors of drought and fighters for life, their roots go down DEEP. They aren't afraid of winter seasons that look like death because they know HOPE. They aren't afraid of their true shape being exposed because in dropping their leaves, they let through more light. They lift their bare branches to the heavens in a posture of praise and worship, all the while digging down deeper and deeper so they can keep surviving as long as the drought may last. They are brave, bold and beautiful even in the barest state. At least to me. </div>
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I, too, am still in a winter-like season. I'm not doing any official serving or ministry or leading right now and haven't since we returned from Peru last year. For at least a few more months, I'm allowing God to continue to work on healing hearts and deepening roots, because it's not that kind of fruit-bearing time. Not yet, anyway. We trust with hope, just like the oak trees, that this is truly just a season and that fruit will be grown and shared once more. I hope that as I stand before God with the leaves down that more light will continue to shine and more work will be done where it's needed.</div>
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I can't help but compare this season of my heart to the seasons around me and find it intriguing how timely it is. I pass by peach, plum and nectarine orchards several times a week. Like the oak trees, they have stood bare through the winter and recently I have watched the farmers and workers out in the middle of the still bare-branched trees with pruning shears in their hands. It is the season for pruning and shaping. They are removing dead and unnecessary wood so that the best harvest will come a few calendar pages from now. The best time for pruning is now - before the leaves cloud the view. The blossoms are coming, too. Every day I am intently searching for glimpses of the tiny hope-bearers that are about to explode all around me. And they're starting to show up. More evidence of hope.</div>
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I will cling to hope, too. Whether it's because the skies inside feel grey or because the pruning shears in the hands of God sting when they expose and thin the dead attitudes and damaging lies that will keep me from bearing fruit in the future, I will hold on to hope. As sure as the oak trees and I are that spring will come, I am sure that someday again bareness will turn to bearing. Fruit and glory bearing will come in due time.</div>
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And in the meantime, I have HOPE. And much more. And that's enough.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-50161381233261757342015-01-15T22:49:00.001-08:002015-01-15T22:49:37.226-08:00New MerciesAs I explained last year (oh, about 5 blog posts ago?) while it's become more popular to choose a word for the year to focus on or whatever, for 20 years now (woohoo!) I've been choosing a word I want to learn about for that year. By mid December I knew that the word I wanted for this year was MERCY. Then I thought also about NEW and realized that the two go perfectly together... NEW MERCIES. <div><br></div><div>I'm making "desktop art" to keep the verses in front of me as often as possible. My daughter and I are memorizing verses with Beth Moore's blog community and these are the ones I'm starting with.</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-rriSqF06_rk/VLi0f7bC3YI/AAAAAAAABE4/nW6NiNBByGw/s640/blogger-image-1052420226.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-rriSqF06_rk/VLi0f7bC3YI/AAAAAAAABE4/nW6NiNBByGw/s640/blogger-image-1052420226.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-5e9hn7N7O78/VLi0ee2zlYI/AAAAAAAABEw/yg11VTpQKa4/s640/blogger-image-681774191.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-5e9hn7N7O78/VLi0ee2zlYI/AAAAAAAABEw/yg11VTpQKa4/s640/blogger-image-681774191.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">So far I've learned that mercy is much more than I've always thought.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">It's lovely. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">It's LOVE.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">~Melissa </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><br></div><br></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-46904932280072657532014-08-23T10:14:00.001-07:002014-08-23T10:49:00.123-07:00The Big "IF"<div>
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This is the verse I've had on my kitchen sink windowsill this week (as evidenced by the water spots!) but it wasn't until this morning that I realized I was reading it wrong. </div>
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<i>2 Corinthians 13:11 (NET) "Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice, set things right, be encouraged, agree with one another, live in peace, and the God of love and peace will be with you."</i></div>
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It's all good stuff. I think I'm going to have my kids memorize it this next week. :) Now that Summer vacation is over and we've started homeschooling again, we all need to be reminded to agree with one another and live in peace. We need to remember to REJOICE! (Which by the way, I learned last year doesn't have to mean being noisy and exhuberant. Because let's be honest. I'm not always feeling that way. To "rejoice" can also simply mean to "be glad". And that makes me glad!) And we need to live encouraged especially when we're in new places doing new things.</div>
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But the last part is where I was getting off track. See what it says there? "and the God of love and peace will be with you." I kept thinking that somehow that last part was conditional on the first part, event though it didn't really made sense. (And how could it?) I was thinking that IF we rejoiced enough, and IF we set things right and were encouraged, and IF we agreed with one another and lived in peace that THEN the God of love and peace promised to be with us. <i>"But doesn't it already say He is with us always?"</i> I wondered. So I set out to figure out what it really meant for Him to be with us. Maybe it meant He would be with us in a different, special way. But the more I looked at it, the more I realized that it didn't actually say "IF" in there at all. It's a simple declarative statement. "AND THE GOD OF LOVE AND PEACE WILL BE WITH YOU." It's not true only IF I get it all right. It's true even and especially when I don't. It's actually WHY I can set things right (because the God of love and peace is with me!), why I can be encouraged (the God of love and peace is with me!), why I can agree with my husband and 13 year old daughter and my boys (the God of love and peace is with me!) and why I can LIVE IN PEACE. (You know what I'm going to say... The God of love and peace is with me!)</div>
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There ARE plenty of "If, then" statements in the Word of God. I just want to be more careful not to be mistaken about which promises are conditional and which promises aren't. And I trust God will help me... Because the God of love and peace is with me. And He is with you, too.</div>
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Peace,</div>
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Melissa</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-32364103794265265882014-04-10T06:58:00.001-07:002014-04-10T06:58:07.208-07:00Just some verses I found...Scratched on a piece of paper, folded and refolded... probably in a pocket for a day or two earlier this year. In the process of moving out of our house I found this and thought I'd share with you these verses that are possibly songs but are certainly prayers, written a while ago but echoed in my heart today.<div><br></div><div>More of You</div><div><br></div><div>More of You, Jesus, and less of me.</div><div>More of your strength, and less of my striving stress.</div><div>More of your patience, and less of my snapping restlessness.</div><div>More of your endurance, outrunning my weakness and worry.</div><div>More of your faith, putting to flight my fears.</div><div>More of your love, sweet love, all over me.</div><div>More of You, Jesus, filling all of me.</div><div>More of You, Jesus.</div><div>More of You.</div><div><br></div><div>(John 3:30 "He must increase, but I must decrease.)</div><div><br></div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-HFYq1OVMNws/U0ajazFM6ZI/AAAAAAAABDE/V6vgUpPj2d4/s640/blogger-image--1537493642.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-HFYq1OVMNws/U0ajazFM6ZI/AAAAAAAABDE/V6vgUpPj2d4/s640/blogger-image--1537493642.jpg"></a></div><br></div><div><br></div><div>Jesus</div><div><br></div><div>Jesus, You're my shelter</div><div>You're my refuge in the storms of life</div><div>Jesus, You're my Peace</div><div>I am safe when I'm by your side</div><div><br></div><div>Don't let me wander, don't let me stray</div><div>Without You I can't find my way</div><div>Keep me close, holding fast to You</div><div>By faith I know You'll bring us through</div><div><br></div><div>It's not for me to figure out</div><div>It's not for me to understand</div><div>My job is to follow You</div><div>As You lead me hand in hand</div><div><br></div><div>Jesus, You're my Light</div><div>In the dark to You I'll lift my eyes</div><div>Jesus, You're my Savior</div><div>Because I have You all I need is supplied</div><div><br></div><div>You are more</div><div>So much more than enough</div><div>I love You</div><div>Jesus</div><div><div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-41740217849859683682014-02-01T20:11:00.001-08:002014-08-23T09:44:41.398-07:00Peace Pics<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I wrote this post when we were still in Peru and just noticed I never published it! So here it is. :)</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">*****************</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I've been having fun this year with an iPad app my daughter found a while ago. (It's called Rhonna Designs, in case you're wondering.) Learning how to use it has been a relaxing distraction and sometimes a way to meditate and memorize scripture for me. If I have something to remember or memorize I'm making it pretty and turning it into my homepage or background. It's fun and helps me remember what I want to remember! And I'm sharing some of them on instagram too, because who can't use a reminder to live in PEACE?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-uxddpvcHCVo/Uu3FeKvmnqI/AAAAAAAABCg/a9bx4Uji5vc/s640/blogger-image--1105201424.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-uxddpvcHCVo/Uu3FeKvmnqI/AAAAAAAABCg/a9bx4Uji5vc/s640/blogger-image--1105201424.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-GIlqzVUfFJw/Uu3FfyWTXSI/AAAAAAAABCo/vUYrecRJsv8/s640/blogger-image--169088511.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-GIlqzVUfFJw/Uu3FfyWTXSI/AAAAAAAABCo/vUYrecRJsv8/s640/blogger-image--169088511.jpg"></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Blessings! (Of grace and peace...)</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">~Melissa</div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-50166322331821405572014-01-12T19:33:00.001-08:002014-01-12T19:36:15.492-08:00Just wondering?<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-0jdD2JFxAkw/UtNelkr_1UI/AAAAAAAABCM/wZ861vbBzq4/s640/blogger-image-1804541686.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-0jdD2JFxAkw/UtNelkr_1UI/AAAAAAAABCM/wZ861vbBzq4/s640/blogger-image-1804541686.jpg"></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-18136935106285304782014-01-09T19:45:00.000-08:002014-01-12T19:36:25.730-08:002014. Grace and Peace to you.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
PEACE. It's there at the beginning of NINETEEN of the books of the New Testament. Almost always alongside it's best friend Grace. Over and over and over again it's declared: Grace and peace to you!</div>
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Peace. If I've ever had a "holy grail", it's PEACE. I have longed for it, searched for it, dreamt about it, schemed about contriving it, cried over not having it... but it has eluded me in many ways for many, many years. You have to know, though, that I'm not talking about peace in my relationships with people. Sure, I like it when my kids are all happy and when my hubby and I are laughing together. (Who wouldn't?) But being the good middle-child that I am, I've always been pretty good at making people happy and keeping the peace. Everywhere, that is, except inside my own heart and mind.</div>
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That's why when I started to sense that 2014 was supposed to be about peace I hesitated to embrace it. Why, you might ask, if that's all I've ever wanted? Well. For nineteen years now (yes, I'm also noticing this is the second reference to "19" I've made in this post.) I've been choosing a new word for my new year. I don't even know how it started, I just remember back in 1995 wanting to learn more about grace. I didn't really understand it and wanted to. So my New Year's tradition of picking a new word to study for the year was born. Since 1995, I have picked a variety of words (some that I loved, some that I was scared of, some I've forgotten, some I've remembered) and often they became my wrestling partner for the year. This last year my word was "Alegría" (Spanish for joy, happiness, and/or gladness) and as happened often in years past I found myself in December saying "OK, Lord. Our time is almost up. Am I ever going to get this or not???" The quick end of that story is that YES, God indeed tied 2013 up with a bow of alegría - but my point is that it took much of the year to learn the lessons.</div>
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So when considering choosing (or accepting?) PEACE as my word for 2014, there was some fear that it would mean <i>wrestling </i>with peace all year - or practically declaring it would be a year of struggling with peace. And I don't want that. I mean, <a href="http://musingmelissa.blogspot.com/2013/04/here.html" target="_blank">I've had enough of that already</a> and sometimes it seems safer to leave well (or not well) enough alone rather than actually intentionally wrestling with it. Or wrestling with myself. </div>
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But there was no other word. Peace beckoned. Peace wooed. Peace won. And I believe my Prince of Peace has whispered to my heart that this year will be different. He is offering peace and it is mine for the taking and I don't have to wrestle with it for a year first. (And really, I already KNOW I'm going to need it this year in extra measure.) So I have accepted the offer. And I think instead of a wrestling match, this year is going to be more of a dance. I might not be much of a dancer and will probably trip and step on God's toes a lot as we do this, but we're doing it anyway.</div>
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19 years.</div>
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19 words.</div>
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Starting with Grace and finally coming around to Peace. </div>
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Sounds perfect to me.</div>
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"Let the peace of Christ be in control in your heart (for you were in fact called as one body to this peace) and be thankful." ~Colossians 3:15 NET</div>
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I make no promises, but do hope to be back here more often this year to share what I'm finding. : ) Do you have a word for 2014? I'd love to hear what it is!</div>
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Grace and peace to you, friends.</div>
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<i>~Melissa</i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">(Oh and by the way. Photo credit for that awesome flower picture goes to my brilliant daughter. Isn't she amazing?)</span></i></div>
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<i><a href="http://www.faithbarista.com/join-faith-barista-jam-thursdays/" target="blank"><img src="http://www.faithbarista.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/OneWord2014_Badge.jpg" /></a></i></div>
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<i>Linking up with faithbarista.com : )</i></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-6533172881235376482013-04-11T21:50:00.002-07:002013-04-11T21:50:26.484-07:00HereMy first 5 Minute Friday post in a while. (And it's not Friday here yet, no, but it will be by the time my head hits the pillow in a little while. So here goes anyway!)<br />
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HERE<br />
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I almost don't want to intrude on the thoughts, feelings, peace, gratitude that well up right now when I think of that word. I am here. And I'm good with that. (Grin.) You don't know that it's significant, but I do. You don't know that I have wrestled so much - not with where I am, but with just ME. (Or maybe you're one of the ones that does...) :) But for the moment - for today - for tonight - I'm at peace.<br />
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He's at work. There's no doubt about it. This peace is not from inside me, except for it being from the Spirit inside of me. So thanks, Lord. I know tomorrow is coming - with hormonal insanity and three kids and me and a couple of cans of paint and a new closet thing with its 248 pieces and they call those instructions?... But for tonight there is the God of peace. And He will be with me tomorrow, too.<br />
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<a href="http://lisajobaker.com/" target="_blank">5 Minute Friday at lisajobaker.com</a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-62002511060695846922012-11-14T15:39:00.000-08:002012-11-14T15:39:00.991-08:00Ups and Downs, Thanks and TrustI just posted something on our other blog about some of the joys (like GRANDPARENTS!!!) and aches (like missing the other grandparents...) of life as a missionary. But it's not really about missionary life. It's more about life on planet earth where there are always joys and tears and ups and downs. Sometimes we understand what we're feeling and sometimes we don't. <a href="http://www.ensfamily.org/2012/11/thanking-and-trusting.html" target="_blank">You can read some of my thoughts about it here...</a><br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-48380923173645170232012-11-03T14:40:00.000-07:002012-11-03T14:40:07.541-07:00Five Minute Friday on Saturday: RootsWelcome to my Saturday version of 5 Minute Friday, hosted by the lovely <a href="http://lisajobaker.com/2012/11/five-minute-friday-roots/">lisajobaker</a>, where people from all over the universe come together to write for 5 minutes on a topic with as little editing as the writers can manage. (In other words, I used the delete button a few times today...) Here's my 5 minutes on...<br />
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<i><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: x-large;">ROOTS</span></i><br />
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Last night I watched A Bug's Life with my kids. I was struck by the little metaphor Flik tells Dot about pretending the rock is a seed which is like her growing up. That she has to be patient because she's still just a seed.<br />
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It struck me because after being in Peru for coming up on 11 months now I feel like I should be bearing fruit already. I feel like there isn't enough to show for my being here and wonder what others think. (God showed me the other day that the reason I'm worried about what others think is because it reflects on what I think. Hmmm. Yep.) So God used a silly little movie about mean grasshoppers and 4 legged ants to remind me (again) to be patient. This season hasn't been one for bearing fruit. It's been one for PLANTING ROOTS. For learning just plain how to live in this country and how to feel at home here. And I feel like I must be nearning the end of the "rooting" season because I have an ache starting - no, growing - to do more.<br />
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And I trust that as I continue to trust Him and I remain rooted in Him, eventually there will be fruit.<br />
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<a href="http://lisajobaker.com/2012/11/five-minute-friday-roots/" target="_blank"><img src="http://thegypsymama.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/5-minute-friday-1.jpg" /></a></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-59937396536271760422012-10-28T20:02:00.001-07:002012-10-28T20:05:11.933-07:00Letting Go of Useful...This one's not a song... Just some lines from my heart yesterday.<br />
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<i><span style="font-size: x-large;">I Don't Have to be Useful</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">I don't have to be useful, Lord.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">Just let me be faithful.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">Faithful to come.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">To seek You and sit at your feet.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">Faithful to worship and praise You</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">In the chaos and in the quiet.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">Faithful to choose You first.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">Faithful to love with all my heart,</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">To love You and to love those You've placed</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">In my home and path.</span></i></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RAVlXPMR2Fw/UI2uJHB7fFI/AAAAAAAAA7E/0TmFsDJ1kh4/s1600/SAM_1976.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><i><span style="font-size: large;"><img border="0" height="289" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-RAVlXPMR2Fw/UI2uJHB7fFI/AAAAAAAAA7E/0TmFsDJ1kh4/s320/SAM_1976.jpg" width="320" /></span></i></a></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">I don't have to be useful.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">But yes, Lord, let me be faithful to love!</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">For what other usefulness is there?</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">What other perfection is there?</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">Ancient wisdom echoes through the ages</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">WITHOUT LOVE THERE IS NOTHING.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">Without love there is no usefulness.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">Yet, I can't love without You.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">So I put my hope in You,</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">That You will love through me.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">When I find myself full of selfishness and impatience.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">When I find in myself nothing to give away,</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">I will look to You to forgive me</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">And fill me anew with your grace.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">So I can be faithful again to love.</span></i></div>
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<i style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-size: large;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6I5tpo8Tcgg/UI2uLa6uQII/AAAAAAAAA7M/hisB72V5dhc/s1600/SAM_2014.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="307" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6I5tpo8Tcgg/UI2uLa6uQII/AAAAAAAAA7M/hisB72V5dhc/s320/SAM_2014.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">I don't have to be useful.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">But let me be faithful.</span></i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">Faithful to love.</span></i></div>
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~Melissa Ens</div>
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10.27.12<br />
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(Isn't my daughter amazing? She took the first 2 photos. How she got that shot of her own eye/face I have no idea. She definitely did not get her talent and patience for photography from me!)</div>
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-60694777647652463272012-09-30T17:51:00.002-07:002012-09-30T17:51:35.390-07:0031 Days of Prayer for PerúSo there's <a href="http://www.thenester.com/" target="_blank">this gal</a> who has a blog. And she is hosting a "31 Days" blogging extravaganza where she invites people to blog for 31 Days about whatever theme they want.<br /><br />Ay, ay, ay... Well, at first I thought I wouldn't do it because I figured I wouldn't stick with it. I tried last year after all and only posted about half the time.<br /><br />
But then I heard Him whisper into my heart "31 Days of Prayer for Peru..." and I couldn't say no. Didn't want to say no. Commit to write out a prayer everyday for this country we are living in and serving? Okay Lord, I'll do it. Scared? Yep. Especially since I'm doing it on my Spanish blog. But certain God is going to do something big in my heart through it? Absolutely.<br />
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Would you like to join me in praying each day this month for Peru? Or for the US or whatever country you live in? Or for your city or church or family? Join me over here...<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--kCjsGClogc/UGjnTj3feXI/AAAAAAAAA4E/-z7q4qbC6mQ/s1600/31D%C3%ADas2012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--kCjsGClogc/UGjnTj3feXI/AAAAAAAAA4E/-z7q4qbC6mQ/s1600/31D%C3%ADas2012.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://melissaens.blogspot.com/search/label/31%20D%C3%ADas%20de%20Oraci%C3%B3n" style="font-size: medium;" target="_blank">El Cuarto de Servicio {31 Días de Oración}</a></td></tr>
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You may have noticed above that I said I'll be writing in Spanish... ; ) But there is a translate button on the side of my blog that you can use to give you a pretty good idea what I wrote. Just take it all with a grain of salt and a dash of sugar when it says something strange. OK?<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;">¡Vamos! </span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-6869528472229479402012-08-17T20:30:00.001-07:002012-08-17T20:30:11.069-07:00S T R E T C H5 Minute Friday has come around again! I'm thankful for another quick chance to do a quick "no-editing-allowed" write. Today's topic? STRETCH<br />
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Sigh. Goodness, I'm tired these days. I don't know if it's the homeschooling that's taking up my days and making me... well, not making me but helping me give into the temptation of staying up too late because I haven't had enough non-kid time... either way - it's likely a combination of school days and too short nights - I'm tired. And feeling stretched.<br />
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And yet also (ha ha ha!!! I just realized I forgot to set the timer! See? I told you I was tired!) I'm feeling ready to stretch in another way. I'm feeling ready to wake up to more of life here in Peru... to stretch my missionary ministry muscles and figure out where I fit in here in this place. I have spent the last months just getting settled, but I don't want to stop here. I'm ready to grow more. And that probably will include some more stretching - in the uncomfortable ways of being pulled out of my comfort zone and also willingly stepping straight out of it again, further, just a bit more.<br />
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Hmmm. I'm remembering a time when we were rock-climbing and I was trying to get somewhere that I was sure I couldn't reach. But with the encouragement of others I was able to stretch way further than I ever thought was possible and was able to get to the next ledge. Lord, what does that mean here? Show me - just like on the side of a rock when I didn't know where to step next - show me where the next step is. And when I'm tempted to react with "I can't reach that!!!" help me to trust You and just STRETCH.<br />
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<img height="200" src="http://thegypsymama.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/5-minute-friday-1.jpg" width="198" /> Join the party at lisajobaker.com : ) Happy weekend everyone!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-70131881275481010892012-08-10T08:55:00.002-07:002012-08-10T08:55:31.206-07:00Made to ConnectI don't know if I'll be able to keep this post to 5 minutes or not because this word struck such a deep chord in my heart this morning... but I'm gonna try. : ) So here goes my 5 minutes worth of uneditted, (mostly) unpremeditated, unscripted writing on CONNECT:<br />
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GO<br />
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<b>Connect</b></h2>
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I was so made for connection! I have a very low tolerance for not being connected on a heart level to others - especially to women. Especially to my family (here and there) and to God. Right now I'm feeling the lack of connection with friends. I have some missionary friends and sort of keep in touch with my family back home (Hi Mom! Hi Dad!) but I feel an urgency - a hunger to be connecting more deeply with the Peruvian women around me. Oh, it's been aching lately. But there is also the fear. What about when I don't understand everything they tell me? I hate it when (on the rare occasion that it happens these days) someone is opening their heart to me and I miss something and find myself mid-conversation wondering if they're telling me a story about something that happened to them or their mom, yesterday or last year... I normally don't realize I missed an important detail until it feels too late to backtrack and ask what I missed.<br />
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Sigh. But I have to do it. I have to connect anyway or I just might die.<br />
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Why? Because God made me to need people. <a href="http://musingmelissa.blogspot.com/2010/10/confessions-of-people-person.html" target="_blank">I've written about that before</a>. : ) It's both a weakness and a strength. But the joyous thing God reminded me of this morning is that in this way I am also made in His image because God LOVES to connect. In every way.<br />
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<b>He loves the act of connecting and He loves <i>so that</i> He can connect with us.</b></h3>
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STOP<br />
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Wanna play? Join me and the rest of the 5 Minute Friday flash mob at lisajobaker.com : )<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-35313223564201916102012-08-03T20:21:00.000-07:002012-08-03T20:21:06.491-07:00Right HERE.<i>Right here. With me. Once again, Lord, You have shown up HERE in such a sweet, surprising way. </i><br />
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This evening I while I was dreaming and thinking of planning a worship retreat/seminar I kept recalling the words to a Psalm but couldn't remember where it was from. A quick scan through my son's Bible didn't help. So I thought I'd look it up on my phone, which led to downloading an app so I could search Biblegateway more easily.<br />
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: )<br />
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So guess what showed up when I opened the app and tapped on the Bible reading for today? Yep. The very exact Psalm that had been rolling through my head for the previous hour. (Psalm 63)<br />
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So I say again like I was singing earlier tonight, Lord...<br />
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<i>"I don't want to talk about You like You're not in the room. I want to look right at You. I want to sing right to You." Please keep me reminding me again and again and again that You really are HERE with me - HERE in me... Christ in me, the hope of glory... and that it doesn't matter if HERE is in California or if HERE is in Peru, You are with me and my soul can find rest and peace in You because You are the One who satisfies my heart and soul. Right HERE.</i><br />
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<img src="http://thegypsymama.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/5-minute-friday-1.jpg" /> Wanna play? Hop on over to lisajobaker.com and join the party!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27901932.post-18467566138889261822012-07-14T10:26:00.000-07:002012-07-14T10:26:05.622-07:00Or not!In my last post I was musing about how I had things to say but wasn't sure what to say or where to say it... so I was having trouble saying anything.<br />
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Well.<br />
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It turns out that writing that post (and finally getting a newsletter out!!!) and your kind comments here and on FB really helped me. And God. ( He helps me always with everything. And often uses you.) So for the first time in QUITE A WHILE I am feeling excited about writing again. And I think I understand better now how to do it and realize that it's quite okay to have different avenues for different styles/topics of writing. This place will always be the place where I ramble and think "out loud" and work through my thoughts and questions and feelings. I've also come to accept (and perhaps embrace?) being a thinker more because I realize that it's just the way God made me and that through putting my thoughts into writing I often come to a new understanding of things and sometimes I can help others put into words what they have also been thinking/feeling/wondering but maybe not had words yet to describe.<br />
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While working on our latest newsletter, I also realized there are quite a few things I'd like to share about Peru that haven't made it into a newsletter or post anywhere and our other blog really is a good place to do that. And it's not that I can't be or won't be honest there about struggling at times, but I also don't have to feel bad for not pouring my heart out there - as long as I'm being honest with people somewhere. : )<br />
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And, well... there's one more thing. : ) While it might seem crazy, I have also decided to start up another blog. (Hold on before you declare me insane!) But this one is going to be for practicing writing in Spanish because I REALLY want to improve my Spanish skills and know this is one way I can practice. I'm going to find a couple of ladies to help me with proofreading and correcting my language/grammar so I can learn from my mistakes and hope it will turn out to be the beginning of a way I can share with my friends here some of the things God has taught me and is teaching me. (And in case you'd like to listen in on my Spanish sharing, there will be a translate button so you can easily have it translated - though I can't promise how well it will work!) I'll post a link to it when I have something posted there.<br />
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I'm also not making any promises about how often I'll write anywhere (I've done that before and it didn't go well!) but I'm excited about having some new avenues to share and some clarity of heart about how/where to do it. I'm also shifting some things around in my schedule that will hopefully allow me to write more because I think it's one of the things God wants me to do.<br />
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And next time instead of writing about writing... I'll write about something else. : )<br />
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Chau amigos!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0