Here

My first 5 Minute Friday post in a while.  (And it's not Friday here yet, no, but it will be by the time my head hits the pillow in a little while. So here goes anyway!)

HERE

I almost don't want to intrude on the thoughts, feelings, peace, gratitude that well up right now when I think of that word. I am here. And I'm good with that. (Grin.) You don't know that it's significant, but I do. You don't know that I have wrestled so much - not with where I am, but with just ME. (Or maybe you're one of the ones that does...) :)  But for the moment - for today - for tonight - I'm at peace.

He's at work. There's no doubt about it. This peace is not from inside me, except for it being from the Spirit inside of me. So thanks, Lord. I know tomorrow is coming - with hormonal insanity and three kids and me and a couple of cans of paint and a new closet thing with its 248 pieces and they call those instructions?... But for tonight there is the God of peace. And He will be with me tomorrow, too.

5 Minute Friday at lisajobaker.com

Five Minute Friday on Saturday: Roots

Welcome to my Saturday version of 5 Minute Friday, hosted by the lovely lisajobaker, where people from all over the universe come together to write for 5 minutes on a topic with as little editing as the writers can manage. (In other words, I used the delete button a few times today...)  Here's my 5 minutes on...

ROOTS

Last night I watched A Bug's Life with my kids. I was struck by the little metaphor Flik tells Dot about pretending the rock is a seed which is like her growing up. That she has to be patient because she's still just a seed.

It struck me because after being in Peru for coming up on 11 months now I feel like I should be bearing fruit already. I feel like there isn't enough to show for my being here and wonder what others think. (God showed me the other day that the reason I'm worried about what others think is because it reflects on what I think. Hmmm. Yep.)  So God used a silly little movie about mean grasshoppers and 4 legged ants to remind me (again) to be patient. This season hasn't been one for bearing fruit. It's been one for PLANTING ROOTS. For learning just plain how to live in this country and how to feel at home here. And I feel like I must be nearning the end of the "rooting" season because I have an ache starting - no, growing - to do more.

And I trust that as I continue to trust Him and I remain rooted in Him, eventually there will be fruit.

S T R E T C H

5 Minute Friday has come around again! I'm thankful for another quick chance to do a quick "no-editing-allowed" write.  Today's topic?  STRETCH

GO

Sigh. Goodness, I'm tired these days. I don't know if it's the homeschooling that's taking up my days and making me... well, not making me but helping me give into the temptation of staying up too late because I haven't had enough non-kid time... either way - it's likely a combination of school days and too short nights - I'm tired. And feeling stretched.

And yet also (ha ha ha!!! I just realized I forgot to set the timer! See? I told you I was tired!) I'm feeling ready to stretch in another way. I'm feeling ready to wake up to more of life here in Peru... to stretch my missionary ministry muscles and figure out where I fit in here in this place. I have spent the last months just getting settled, but I don't want to stop here. I'm ready to grow more. And that probably will include some more stretching - in the uncomfortable ways of being pulled out of my comfort zone and also willingly stepping straight out of it again, further, just a bit more.

Hmmm. I'm remembering a time when we were rock-climbing and I was trying to get somewhere that I was sure I couldn't reach. But with the encouragement of others I was able to stretch way further than I ever thought was possible and was able to get to the next ledge. Lord, what does that mean here? Show me - just like on the side of a rock when I didn't know where to step next - show me where the next step is. And when I'm tempted to react with "I can't reach that!!!" help me to trust You and just STRETCH.

STOP

  Join the party at lisajobaker.com  : )  Happy weekend everyone!

Made to Connect

I don't know if I'll be able to keep this post to 5 minutes or not because this word struck such a deep chord in my heart this morning... but I'm gonna try. : )  So here goes my 5 minutes worth of uneditted, (mostly) unpremeditated, unscripted writing on CONNECT:

GO

Connect

I was so made for connection! I have a very low tolerance for not being connected on a heart level to others - especially to women.  Especially to my family (here and there) and to God. Right now I'm feeling the lack of connection with friends. I have some missionary friends and sort of keep in touch with my family back home (Hi Mom! Hi Dad!) but I feel an urgency - a hunger to be connecting more deeply with the Peruvian women around me.  Oh, it's been aching lately. But there is also the fear. What about when I don't understand everything they tell me? I hate it when (on the rare occasion that it happens these days) someone is opening their heart to me and I miss something and find myself mid-conversation wondering if they're telling me a story about something that happened to them or their mom, yesterday or last year... I normally don't realize I missed an important detail until it feels too late to backtrack and ask what I missed.

Sigh.  But I have to do it. I have to connect anyway or I just might die.

Why? Because God made me to need people. I've written about that before. : ) It's both a weakness and a strength. But the joyous thing God reminded me of this morning is that in this way I am also made in His image because God LOVES to connect.  In every way.

He loves the act of connecting and He loves so that He can connect with us.

STOP

Wanna play? Join me and the rest of the 5 Minute Friday flash mob at lisajobaker.com : )

Right HERE.

Right here. With me. Once again, Lord, You have shown up HERE in such a sweet, surprising way. 

This evening I while I was dreaming and thinking of planning a worship retreat/seminar I kept recalling the words to a Psalm but couldn't remember where it was from. A quick scan through my son's Bible didn't help. So I thought I'd look it up on my phone, which led to downloading an app so I could search Biblegateway more easily.

: )

So guess what showed up when I opened the app and tapped on the Bible reading for today? Yep. The very exact Psalm that had been rolling through my head for the previous hour. (Psalm 63)

So I say again like I was singing earlier tonight, Lord...

"I don't want to talk about You like You're not in the room. I want to look right at You. I want to sing right to You."  Please keep me reminding me again and again and again that You really are HERE with me - HERE in me... Christ in me, the hope of glory... and that it doesn't matter if HERE is in California or if HERE is in Peru, You are with me and my soul can find rest and peace in You because You are the One who satisfies my heart and soul. Right HERE.

_____________________

 Wanna play? Hop on over to lisajobaker.com and join the party!

To Join the Dance?

This week's 5 Minute Friday writing-without-stopping-just-for-the-fun-of-it prompt is: DANCE.   Ready?  Go!

I hear the music.  Literally.  Loudly.  Coming from somewhere a few concrete backyards away it would seem.  It's 11:15pm (yeah... not technically Friday here yet so I feel like I'm cheating!!!) but surely at midnight and likely until the wee, wee hours of the morning I'll be hearing the music and the people will still be dancing because here in Peru? The parties don't end early.  : ) Frequently on the weekends I can hear the faroff nightclub music still pounding at 4:30am.  Sheesh!  But here's the thing...  Will I join the dance or not?

Now, no... I'm not literally going to go dancing.  But I still have a choice to make as I snuggle down into my bed tonight and every other night like this.  Will I grumble and gripe about how much the people here love to party and celebrate and how I have to listen to it even at midnight when I want to sleep? Or will I appreciate it and thank God for the people making the music and pray for them to know Jesus and smile at the beauty of a people who aren't afraid to make a bit of noise when they're happy?

Goodness, it can be so much more complicated.  I know there is a lot of icky that can go with the all night party... but MY choice is mine to make...

(And STOP!)

Wow, 5 minutes goes by quickly. : )  And goodness it's hard not to go back and EDIT.

Wanna try?  Come join the party...  (Maybe even dance a little!)  http://lisajobaker.com/

Risky Writing?

Risk... That was the writing prompt that Lisa-Jo posted on her blog today for her famous "Five-Minute Friday" writing challenge. For a long time now I've been intrigued by the idea... Five minutes of free writing with no editing and not too much over-thinking... It has always sounded fun. But have I ever done it? Nope. Am I finally? It looks like it.  I used to have a speed-blogging tag that I would write under occasionally but lately I haven't even had time to risk spending five minutes to write just for fun.  At least that's how I've felt.  Silly really, because I can spend or waste five minutes doing other things pretty easily without feeling bad. So why not the writing? I guess because it's riskier because it's out there for the whole two of you who still look at my blog every day to see. : )

But I think it's time and I'm hoping to, if nothing else, start risking again to write here out in public because one thing I've noticed lately is that when I write things down that I am afraid to admit I am even thinking or feeling... that in the writing down I am more honest. More honest with the thoughts and more honest with what I KNOW and maybe have forgotten is the TRUTH.

(And with that, my timer has gone off and I'm done!) : )

See you next week!!!!!  : )