Ready for Battle!

Alright.  I admit it.  I have gotten a bit lazy with my Scripture memorization.  I’ve still been reading a lot and adding lots of verses to my spiral, but I just haven’t made up my mind to memorize one or more of them for a while.  Well, rather than give up because I’m “behind schedule” or try to make up for lost time by memorizing extra for the months I’ve missed, I decided to throw perfectionism to the wind and just pick one to do now!  J  (Shocking, huh?)  And not a super long one, either!  Here it is:

I don’t have a horse to ride into battle, but I do have a mind that I’m supposed to be preparing for action and a sword of the Spirit I need to keep sharp.  So while I trust (PRAISE GOD!!!) that victory rests with the Lord, I’m gonna do my part to cooperate with Him!

So here’s my encouragement to you…  If you’ve slowed down or quit or even never started memorizing Scripture, don’t give up and don’t be afraid to just start today!  If you want to share what you’re working on right now, leave a comment so we can cheer each other on. YAY!  J

Grace, Peace and Lots of Love,

Melissa

Keep Walking... 2010 Memory Passage #6

Um, yeah... I'm a day late. : ) Here's what I'm studying and memorizing:

"I guide you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths. When you walk your steps will not be hampered. When you run, you will not stumble. Hold on to instruction, do not let it go. Guard it well, for it is your life." Proverbs 4:11-13

Here's what I'm loving/learning about this passage:

"I guide you": implies shooting or throwing... like aiming an arrow or something at a target.

"I guide you... and lead you...": not just that God "will" guide and lead me - as in a future promise - but NOW. Every day. It is what He does. What He has been doing and what He will always keep doing. (I love that!)

"in the way": on the path, road, journey, direction, course of life...

"of wisdom": skill (in war), wisdom (in administration), shrewdness, wisdom (in ethical or religious affairs)

"and lead you": the root of this word is the same word above used for "way" but this seems to imply walking, treading, marching... makes me think He's not only showing us where to march, but He's leading the way by marching along with us.

"along straight": even, upright, level paths. I want my thoughts to be upright - and level!!!

"paths": I expected this word to be the same as "paths" but it actually means "entrenchment or tracks." Interesting! He wants to get me in the right "ruts". : )

"When you walk, your steps": actually means just that.

"will not be hampered": won't be bound up or distressed. Sounds like walking in freedom to me!

"When you run, you will not stumble": reminds me of when a child (or anyone!) starts running and gets going faster than their feet can carry them and stumbles and crashes. Praise God He will (if I listen) keep me from running ahead of myself (and Him) and stumbling and crashing!

"HOLD ON": Wow. That doesn't do justice to what this word means. First of all, the Hebrew word itself looks like "Shazam!" : ) "CHAZAQ!" (Isn't that great?) And the definition includes these words: to strengthen, prevail, harden, be/become strong, become strong, be courageous, be/grow firm, be resolute, be sore. Wow. To hold on so tightly that I become sore - and strong and courageous. I. WANT. THAT.

"to instruction": Ouch. OK. I am looking up these words (see below for how/where) as I go along here and I'm sort of reconsidering what I just said I wanted... This kind of "instruction" isn't what I thought it was! It's the "discipline, chastening, correction" kind of instruction. Big sigh. But yes, I still want it. Only now I KNOW it's going to make me sore!!!

"Do not let it go": Still talking about the "instruction" and He's not just saying here "don't let it go" but don't slack off! Don't "sink, relax, sink down, let drop, be disheartened." Hmmm... Wow. That is so often what I do when I start something new. I'm enthusiastic at first, for a few days, and then sink, relax, drop out and get disheartened. God is saying that's not okay anymore.

"Guard it well": guard, watch, watch over, keep. Speaks of faithfulness and diligence to me.

"for it is your life": Life. LIFE.

Feels a bit like God is giving me a warning that I need to quit slacking and keep holding onto and pursuing the things He's teaching me to do. He's been opening my eyes and doesn't want me to slow up and go back to my old way of doing things. I don't really want to either. So, yes, Lord, please keep teaching, training, correcting and disciplining me. I need to know how to live so that I can have the LIFE that You want for me. ABUNDANT LIFE. I definitely WANT THAT. : )

(And in case you're wondering where I got all of this information... you can check out bible.lifeway.com . Look at the menu on the left and you'll see a list of Bible translations and some other stuff. Click on "KJV with Strong's" and you'll get an amazing resource! Click on the words that are underlined and you'll go straight to the original Hebrew or Greek words and their definitions. At the top there is a little window where you can type in whatever chapter you want to look at. It's my favorite resource!!!)

What are you memorizing? Are you doing anything for Lent or to prepare your heart in a special way for Easter? I'd love to hear about it!

2010 Memory Verse #5 - Calm vs. the Storm

What I'm memorizing next...

Matthew 8:24-26

"Without warning, a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, 'Lord, save us! We're going to drown!' He replied, 'You of little faith, why are you so afraid?' Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm."

I'm stepping out in faith in some areas of life right now and can go from feeling completely at peace in the morning to the middle of a storm of insecurity by mid-afternoon. As I came upon this passage last week, it seemed like such a perfect picture of what goes on sometimes in my heart. When I take my eyes off of Jesus start to look for approval from others, "without warning, a furious storm" comes up in my heart. When I start to look at overwhelming circumstances, the waves sweep over my mind. When I look at myself and my strength, I can become like the disciples – sure that I'm going to drown!

And all the while, Jesus is at peace. At rest. Calm. Cool. Collected. J He has not a fear in the world because He knows. He knows everything there is to know about my weaknesses and what He's calling me to. He knows how easy it is to rebuke the wind and waves and bring peace again. He knows who I am, but more importantly, He knows who He is. At our retreat last weekend, we talked about responding to life with faith instead of fear. That's what I want. When the waves start to swell (because they will) and I start to feel afraid (because I will) I want to cry out to Jesus to save me… not out of fear, but out of faith. I want to stand WITH HIM in rebuking the lies and restoring calm – complete calm! – to my heart and mind as I trust Him.

Our youth group is also memorizing scripture, and this is our verse for this week:

Luke 6:45

"Good people do good things because of the good in their hearts. Bad people do bad things because of the evil in their hearts. Your words show what is in your heart." (Contemporary English Version)

I pray that this week (and forever!) when my words show what is in my heart, they are evidence of FAITH growing in my heart as I trust God.

What are you memorizing? May God bless you this week with faith that is growing, even if it's growing because He's stretching it!

J, Melissa

Your Word (2010 Memory Verse #4)

As recommended by Beth Moore, I use a spiral bound set of note cards to keep track of my memory verses. I keep it on the window sill above my kitchen sink. It's a hazardous spot, (often splashed and once last year it got knocked into a sink full of mop water!) but I spend lots of time there when my hands are busy but my mind is relatively free, so there it stays.

A few days after coming home from Texas, I was doing the dishes and reading the first verses I had chosen for 2010:

Psalm 119:135 & 147 "Make your face shine upon your servant and teach me your decrees." "I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word."

I couldn't help but notice that the second verse there was all of a sudden forming a melody in my heart. Within the next few days, I had written a song composed entirely (except for maybe 2 words) of verses from Psalm 119. I have it basically memorized already, but want to keep letting it sink deeper into my heart. And I need to work a little more on the other verses I've been working on this year. I'll try to get the song posted one of these days... but for now, I'll just share the words.

Yes, it's a long song... but Psalm 119 is a long psalm! : )

(What are you memorizing???)

YOUR WORD (Psalm 119)

Your word, O LORD, is eternal

It stands firm in the heavens (89)

Your faithfulness continues

Through all generations (90)

Save me, for I am yours

I will search out your precepts (94)

You are my portion, O LORD (57)

Your hands made me and formed me

Give me understanding

To learn your commands (73)

Your decrees are the theme of my song (54)

Do not let me stray from your commands (10)

Preserve my life according to your word (25)

With all my heart I will seek You (10)

I rise before dawn and cry for help

I have put my hope in your word (147)

Make your face shine upon your servant

And teach me your decrees (135)

I have hidden your Word inside my heart

That I might not sin against You (11)

May your unfailing love come to me, O LORD

Your salvation according to your promise (41)

I call with all my heart; answer me O LORD

I will obey (145)

I am a stranger on earth

Do not hide your commands from me (19)

Open my eyes that I may see

Wonderful things in your law (18)

Do good to your servant, and I will live

I will obey your word (17)

You are my refuge and shield (114)

Your word is a lamp to my feet

And a light for my path (105)

My flesh trembles in fear of You

I stand in awe of your laws (120)

Do not let my hopes be dashed (116)

I have chosen the way of truth (30)

I will not neglect your word (16)

For You have set my heart free (32)

How sweet are your Words to my taste,

Sweeter than honey to my mouth! (103)

Do not snatch the word of truth from my mouth

For I have put my hope in your laws (43)

Direct me in the path of your commands

For there I find delight (35)

May my lips overflow with praise (171)

May my tongue sing of your righteous Word (172)

And may your laws sustain me

Let me live that I may praise You (175)

I have not forgotten your commands

But I have strayed like a lost sheep

Lord, come and seek, find and save

Lord, come and seek your servant (176)

~Written by Melissa May 1.28.10

2010 Memory Verse #3!

Well, this will likely be a shorter post because I'm tired! But I want to get this up for tomorrow in case anyone wants to tell me what they're memorizing next! : ) (That could be YOU, you know!) So here's what I'm memorizing next:

Colossians 3:15-17 "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

I've never had a "life verse" before, but have felt this week like this might be a new "life verse" for me. I know God is at work in bringing more peace and more thankfulness into my life. I long to have His words dwelling in me richly and it is my dream to teach others more about God's truth. I also love writing music and leading worship and want to honor God in whatever I do. I also have felt like in this last week - at the Celebration event and after I came home - God has confirmed that He wants me to be doing those things. God really rekindled my passion for His Word. I believe He called me again to TEACH. I love, love, love talking to women and blogging for women (and the few men that love me enough to read what I write!) but right now the main "students" I have to teach are teenagers! Young-ish ones at that... I love the youth group we have but it's definitely a much bigger challenge to teach them than it is to talk to adults. I'm grateful that they listen as much as they do and that it gives me the opportunity to learn to teach. I'm praying God will teach me how to be a better teacher as I keep practicing and learning. And I also need to be more thankful. And more peaceful. : ) (And to go to bed!) : ), Melissa PS... If you're memorizing something, tell me in the comments what it is! Don't give up!!! : )

I'm Leavin' On a Jet Plane...

Well, first I actually have to take a prop plane but eventually tomorrow morning I'll be on a jet plane to Houston to attend the LPM Scripture Memory Team Celebration (google it if you're curious) at Beth Moore's home church! I'm super excited and just about packed and ready to go! All I really have time for at the moment is to post (late!) what I'm memorizing and pondering this half of January. It's a passage that has always fascinated and perplexed me.

Luke 10:38-42 "As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what He said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, 'Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!' 'Martha, Martha,' the Lord answered, 'you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

In my pondering and praying about this passage this week, so far I've noticed:

• Martha wasn't just working. She was "distracted, worried & upset". Hmmm...
• Mary was listening to Jesus.
• Martha thought Jesus didn't care.
• I wish Jesus had been more specific about the "one thing" that is needed. Was it just for that day? The only thing that's ever needed???
• Mary's choice to sit at the Lord's feet would not be taken away from her.

God's been showing me more and more how important it is for me to seek Him more and to sit with Him more and to listen to Him more - ALL DAY LONG. EVERY DAY. That just might be the "one thing." Being close to Him... This is another verse I discovered the other day that I'm listening to... Jeremiah 10:23 "I know, O LORD, that a man's life is not his own; it is not for man to direct his steps." I'm learning to trust the Holy Spirit to direct my steps more often. And right now He's directing me to stop and go to bed so I can wake up in the morning and get on that plane. Can't wait to tell you all what I learn while I'm gone!!!!! : ) ~Melissa PS What are you memorizing???

Happy 2010!!!

Happy New Year everyone! I'm just hopping on here quickly to share with you my first memory verse for 2010! It doesn't look like Beth Moore is doing the Scripture Memory challenge again this year, but I wanted to do it again and found someone else online who is inviting others to join her (on her blog) as well. Same format as last year... you log in on the 1st and 15th of every month with what verse(s) your memorizing. Just like I exercise more consistently with someone to do it with, I memorized more scripture last year than ever before because I had others to do it with! I looked forward every 1st and 15th to picking my next verses and was really feeling the need to find some others to do it with again! So glad I found eLisa at extravagantgrace.net. : ) Yay! IF YOU AREN'T MEMORIZING SCRIPTURE consistently, can I encourage you to join me??? Get yourself a spiral bound set of index cards (or just a post-it note!) and just get started! You surely won't regret it!!! You can share with me what you're memorizing or log in over at eLisa's blog. Just don't procrastinate and do it! : ) After a busy, fun, filled Christmas vacation (the kids still have one more week off, but it should be more "normal") I'm really needing to get back to going to bed earlier so I can wake up earlier! I've been sleeping in a lot and am really missing my Bible study time in the mornings. So here are my first verses for 2010:

Psalm 119:135 & 147

"Make your face shine upon your servant and teach me your decrees." "I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your Word."

I LOVE picturing God's face shining on me as I seek Him in His Word. And I'm determining to get up early... starting tomorrow! To cry for help and find my hope in His Word. It is life to me! I can't afford to sleep through any more times I could be having with Him... : ) Pray for me that I will be wise and get to bed on time so I can get up! What do you need me to pray for you about? Let me know! : )

Grace & Peace,

Melissa

My Times are In Your Hands

Time flies when you’re having fun. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. They grow up so fast! Sunrise, Sunset… Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love ya, tomorrow! Time is money. Time is tickin’ and time’s a wastin’! Carpe diem! We are a people obsessed and uncomfortable with TIME. It either goes by too quickly or not fast enough. We either regret or long for the past while we are worried about or impatient for the future. We’re running late and determined to stay awake as long as possible (thank you, Starbucks!) so we can squeeze every second of life out of every day. We sing about it, muse about it, waste it (thank you, Facebook!), talk and whine about it. (When did they get so big??? How is it already the end of July???) Maybe it’s not the whole human “race.” Maybe it’s just me. But a Google search for “time management” brings up 223 million results. A search on just the word “time”? 3.5 Billion! So apparently I’m not the only one. I am NOT a good time manager. I’m not good at keeping scrapbooks or remembering things and it makes my heart ache when I think of how fast my kids are growing up and how much I’ve already forgotten about their younger years. I feel like I’ve been going through the last several years with my heels digging into the ground, trying desperately to SLOW THIS WORLD DOWN! Stop the sun! Slow down the clock! Slow down the calendar! Stop already with the growing! I can’t keep up! Well… I’m done. I quit. Time, you win. I won’t fight you anymore. I can’t manage you. I can’t slow you down or speed you up. BUT I CAN, with Christ’s strength, learn to live with you as my friend instead of my foe. I will stop wasting my today’s missing the past and worrying about the future. I’m going to learn to live “for such a time as this.” I asked God to show me His truth about time and found many familiar verses. “He has made everything beautiful in its time… ” (Ecc. 3:11) “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.” (Isaiah 43:18) “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” (Matt. 6:34) It’s pretty obvious that mourning over the past and dreading the future are not God’s plan for my day to day life. But the real surprise came when I found myself again in Genesis 1. “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth… And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light… God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.” (Gen 1:1, 3, 5) There you have it! The first day. All in just the first 5 verses of the Bible. But He wasn’t done! On days 2 & 3, He created the seas and plants as unmistakable reminders of the passing seconds and seasons, all counting down, as it were, to the end of this world as we know it. But in case we didn’t notice, on the fourth day He also created “lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night” to “serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years.” (Gen 1:14). One of the first things God created was time. And He called it good! It isn’t evil or meant to steal my joy. With the Psalmist I will choose to say “But I trust in You, O LORD; I say ‘You are my God.’ MY TIMES ARE IN YOUR HANDS...” (Psalm 31:14-15a) God wants me to trust Him with how time passes and rejoice! It’s all counting down to His triumphant return! When I see my children growing up and I’m shocked that it’s time to turn the calendar again, I want to learn to say, “Hallelujah!” I am that much closer to seeing Him face to Face! “I am the Alpha and the Omega,” says the Lord God, “Who is, and who was, and who is to come, the Almighty.” (Rev. 1:8) Whether we like it or not, He is the King of the ages and He is returning soon! (Rev. 22:7) As I learn to see my past and my family and my future in the light of eternity, I find a whole new contentment and purpose and perspective as I agree with what my mom always said: This too shall pass! “Amen! Come, Lord Jesus!” I trust in You, O Lord. You are my God. My times are in Your hands. And I’m glad.

A Hiding Place (Scripture Memory verse #7!)

My next memory verse/passage (as part of this) is Psalm 91. Yeah, the whole thing. I actually had it memorized several years ago, but it's been buried under all the mommy things in my head (hah! I have piles of stuff lost in my head just like in my house!) SO, in light of the intensity of life these last few weeks, God and I agreed it would be good to re-memorize it! I just wanted to share a couple of things I have already gotten out of studying the first two verses. It's neat (to me, anyway!) that in the first 2 verses alone, 4 of God's names are used by the Psalmist. I love that! Here is verse 1 with some other meanings of the words in ( ). 1 He who dwells (remain, sit, abide, inhabit) in the shelter (covering, hiding place, secrecy) of the Most High (Elyown – the Most High God) will rest (lodge, stop over, pass the night) in the shadow (shade) of the Almighty. (El Shaddai – almighty, most powerful) I just love this image. Sitting (makes me think of how hard it is for me to sit still…) or dwelling – staying in the hiding place of the Most High God… It’s not just a shelter, but a secret hiding place! I LOVE THAT… maybe because I feel so surrounded and watched by the enemy right now, the idea of having a hiding place in God seems like something I’m desperate for. So if I stay in the Most High’s hiding place, I will rest – pit stop! – in the Almighty El Shaddai’s shadow. I love the picture of being hidden in His huge shadow. Ahhh... 2 I will say (speak, utter) of the LORD (Jehovah - Yahweh), "He is my refuge (shelter – from elements or danger) and my fortress (stronghold), my God (Elohim), in whom I trust (trust in, be confident, to be bold, to be secure, to feel safe, be careless.)" God continues to put me (or allow me into) situations where my faith is tested and I am challenged to TRUST HIM. The other day I was at my old college without my kids and I stopped in at our old prayer chapel. It was the strangest thing to open those doors and walk into this little old building and feel like I had walked back into 1994. Same carpet, same smell, same pews, same pictures on the walls... That place is so special to so many people that I don't think anyone will ever let it be updated or modernized. I walked up to the front and found a binder from the years I was a student there. It contained prayers people had written, including some of mine. I found a few and one... well, let's just say it could have been written by me today. I was getting ready to graduate and nervous about the future and the change that was looming on the horizon. What's funny is that I had NO IDEA what really was in store for me in the months following that entry (some of you know what I'm talking about) but GOD KNEW. Even then He was calling me to trust Him and I knew that I could and had to. And HE WAS SO VERY FAITHFUL. I'm in another one of those places right now. Change is looming on the horizon and it's quite scary for me. I was so struck the other day by how much and how little has changed in the last 15 years. I still struggle with trust... but God continues to be faithful. He always will. I wonder if trusting ever gets easy. I sort of think that when trusting Him with some things gets easy, He just finds new things for us to trust Him with. Because if it wasn't hard, would it really be trust? I don't quite know how to explain what I mean... maybe because I need to go to bed. Maybe because it can't really be captured in words. But either way, I'm thankful for Psalm 91 and what God is reminding me through it. My job is to rest in Him and trust Him. His job is to protect me when I do. And I know He will.

I Will Give You Rest...

I'm so glad my God is a God who hears me when I cry to Him. As you probably saw in my last post, I've been feeling very tired lately. God has been continuing to call me to REST IN HIM, but I was having trouble figuring out how to do that. It seems that when I get wound up and tense, I just have no idea how to unwind myself, even if I want to. So, again, I am thankful for a God who chooses to quiet me with His love (Zephaniah 3:17?). Have I ever told you about my friend Lisa? I met her many years ago when her son, who is now in high school, was a hilarious student in my Kindergarten class. She had prayed for God to put him in just the right class, and He did. I loved her son. He added a lot of spice to my days. : ) But what neither of us had any idea about was how God was beginning a friendship between us that would be a GIFT for years to come. I love thinking back on the day when Diego was still in my class and she brought me a banana - because God told her to. : ) She wrote something on it... but I can't remember what. And I know she was a little disappointed, I think expecting me to say something about how I had just been praying for a banana! or something like that. : ) I just thought it was sweet and I appreciated it - but the real fruit of it was that I knew she was someone who listened to God. And that was significant. Anyway, several years ago we started praying together and eventually started praying together once a week at 5:30AM at my house. We never had an official agenda or format, other than inviting God's presence to be with us and telling the enemy to stay away and asking the Holy Spirit to speak to us about whatever we needed to hear from Him about. Then we just talk with God. We talk to each other some, but are really most interested in what God has to say. We listen to Him and through the years the time He has done SO MUCH stuff in our hearts I can't begin to tell you about it all. He is SO faithful to reveal what's really going on in our hearts and heads and what the TRUTH really is and when we agree with Him, so much freedom comes! I can absolutely say we are both very different people today because of what God has done in us during those sweet, sweet times. In the last year or so we've invited a few others to join us and it's been even better. The reason I even mention all that is to share what He showed me this last week. I was so tired and worn out from all of my worrying and God graciously took me in His arms and filled me with peace. I was just enjoying resting in His arms when Lisa had to keep praying asking the Holy Spirit to reveal any lies I was believing. I sort of ignored her because I was just enjoying Jesus at the moment. But then I started hearing the lie: you can't rest or relax because you're going to forget something! Something's going to fall through the cracks! That's what I had been believing and what had been keeping me from resting in Him. As I shared with her what I was thinking, I explained it was as if I couldn't sleep because I had to stay on watch, as if there wasn't anyone else to take the shift and what would happen if I let my guard down? Knowing even as I was saying it that God was reminding me that He never stops watching and I CAN let my guard down and rest because He's on duty. : ) Just the day before, Jennifer had sent me a verse on Facebook. It was Psalm 121:1-2. That morning with Lisa and I read Psalm 121 again and it was SO CLEARLY connected to what God was saying to me. Later that morning, I looked up some of the words from it and there are 6 times (in only 8 verses) where God says He watches over us, over my coming and going, etc. In other words, He's got my back. : ) The Hebrew word implies He's on guard duty so I can rest. So this half of March I'm memorizing Psalm 121 and thanking God for bringing me to a place of rest once again. Life is still sort of chaotic around me, but I'm feeling peace in the middle of the storm. Hallelujah!

Psalm 121

1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—

where does my help come from? 2 My help comes from the LORD,

the Maker of heaven and earth. 3 He will not let your foot slip—

he who watches over you will not slumber; 4 indeed, he who watches over Israel

will neither slumber nor sleep. 5 The LORD watches over you—

the LORD is your shade at your right hand; 6 the sun will not harm you by day,

nor the moon by night. 7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—

he will watch over your life; 8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going

both now and forevermore.

March Memory Passage #1

Sorry this isn't a fabulous retreat recap. While our retreat was AMAZING because God is AMAZING, since coming home I've been back to life and it's challenges and God is wanting to do some Spring Cleaning in my heart and head (and apparently, my house.) Genesis 1:1-4

1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 The earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters. 3 Then God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 And God saw that the light was good. Then he separated the light from the darkness.

I picked this passage because I feel so out of control with my house and "time management." My weakness in this area is consuming me and draining me in a ridiculous way. If you have struggled in this area, you might know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, all of my most wordy and elaborate explanations will never really be able to help you understand my dilemma. So just trust me that it's bad. The Hebrew words that describe what the earth was like in verse 2 imply that the earth was chaos and I feel like I'm living in chaos. I know it's not that bad compared to some people. I know it's not so bad that I can't have people over. I'm not beating myself up here. I just know how much it affects me and my family and I SO want to be done with it. I have tried and tried and made progress but still struggle. Life is fuller (and in MANY ways more wonderful) (and more challenging) than ever around here and I'm thankful for that, but it's making it even more obvious that i NEED God to speak Light and Truth into my chaos. And I'm going to ask Him to do that and expect Him to do that. It's what I "preached" about at the retreat! Trusting God's grace to do the work in our hearts because we can't do it with our efforts... We have to approach Him in humility and confidence in His ability and desire to do what we cannot do. Whether it's set us free from our sin or help us in our weakness. His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in my weakness and that's what I'm after. So now you know. : )

I'm Memorizing Luke 12:48...

For the LPM Scripture Memory Challenge (go! join! do it!) we're memorizing a different passage of the Bible (we each choose our own) on the 1st and 15th of every month. This is #3! OK. This one is intense! I was just writing about it in my journal, so I'm just going to paste here the verse and what I wrote about it. “But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” Luke 12:48 I was sort of scared to choose (or accept?) that verse as it feels a bit intimidating to live out. I have been aware for some time now of how great of a spiritual inheritance I have and just how much (I’m sure I don’t really even know the half of it) I have been given by God and so many others who have invested in my life. I know that I am RICH spiritually and my job is to share as much of the wealth as I possibly can. I HAVE been given much and entrusted with much… and I know that part of what I’ve been given is God’s grace for the tasks He’s called me to. In the next 2½ weeks as I finish getting ready for the women’s retreat, I am going to be challenged to believe that I have been entrusted with and given enough to do what God is calling me to do. (I'm still not completely over my fever thing and the kids definitely aren't either!) Is it possible that He’s made it too hard for me? That I won’t be able to do what He’s asking of me? Not according to God’s word! He is asking much more than I think I am able, but He is not asking me to do more than He will enable me to do BY HIS GRACE. And isn’t that exactly what I’m talking about? This is going to be perhaps the biggest challenge I’ve ever faced (that I can think of) where I had to trust God entirely AND give it my all without it turning into striving. Teach me how to do that, Lord, as I’m not sure that I’ve ever succeeded in this before! But I know we can do it together. You have given me much and others have given me much and it is right that much be expected of me. But I know I can’t do it without You. Help me Lord! I know You will. : )

Little House in the Suburbs: The Fever Episode

Last Wednesday Toby came down with what I'm now calling "The Five Day Fever." He spent hours that day on the couch with a fever and chills. (Thankfully this one skips the stomach!) While the first day was definitely the worst, he had a fever off and on for the next 5 days! Close to 104 at some points. It finally broke Sunday night and he's been fine since. Yay.

I tend to think that I am immune to the illnesses my kids catch because I hardly ever get sick. Apparently, I should have been more careful last week because by Wednesday this week, I was feeling achy and cold and tired and by evening I had my own fever. And a few hours later Timothy had one, too. And this morning Mikaela came down with it! Lowell is the only healthy one left. Last night Timothy (also known as Fever Boy) (who is also getting 4 molars in right now, thankyouverymuch) woke up about 10 times (I'm not even kidding) so I was not the happiest camper when morning rolled around and my temp was still 102. Fever Boy unfortunately doesn't sleep or nap well when he's sick. Big bummer. Cause I'd really like a nice nap right now!

But I've been surviving and even thinking we could all just camp out with our blankets and make some memories together as we all lay around feeling cold and tired and achy. Around lunchtime, though, everyone was hungry and grumpy and Fever Boy was crying and I almost started crying myself. Not the kind of memories I was hoping for! I made it out of the recliner to go make lunch and saw on my windowsill the verse I'm memorizing right now. Ahem.

"To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in persecutions, in hardships, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

I'm still working, especially on days like this, on not feeling sorry for myself. It's amazing to me that Paul was able to say He delighted in his weaknesses and all the other persecutions he suffered. Amazing. I told God I was having trouble delighting in feeling sick with 2 sick kids but remembered what I have been learning about God's grace as I prepare for our women's retreat (in 3 weeks!) See where it says "My grace is sufficient for you"? Well, that word "sufficient" means far more than we usually think. The Greek word it's translated from actually means "to be possessed with unfailing strength." WOW. His grace is possessed with unfailing strength and that strength is perfected in my weakness. (It makes sense especially considering how many times Paul refers to strength and power in the following sentences.) I'm wishing I had more time and energy this week to work on my talks for the retreat, but I'm trusting God's grace to be unfailingly strong in my weakness.

As I made lunch in my nice 20th century kitchen, I started thinking about Ma Ingalls and all the feverish children she tended with everlasting grace and patience (she was amazing-esp on TV!) and about how I don't have to cut wood for fires or do laundry in the snow or medicate my kids with quinine and what-have-you and I don't have to worry about hungry wolves or plagues... We just have a Five Day Fever and Tylenol and Motrin and lots of blankets and a heater and Kleenex and refrigerators and couches and soft pillows a house with insulation and in a few days this will all be a memory. And in a couple of hours my husband is coming home and I'll get a nap. And God's grace is unfailingly strong.

Amen!

I Know an Old Lady who Swallowed a Fly...

Remember that song? Then she swallowed a spider to catch the fly... Well, this afternoon that's what I almost did. Swallow a spider, that is. I have a big plastic mug with a lid THAT DOESN'T CLOSE that I use for water and apparently a spider decided to investigate it and drowned inside. I only know that because when I was getting ready to make dinner I took a drink and felt something weird and non-water-like in my mouth. I spit it out and it was a spider. Then I spit some more. And some more. (Mikaela thought it was quite funny.) At least it appeared to already be dead and it wasn't very big. I don't know what I would have done if it had been big and alive! Yikes! (And yuck!) Now aren't you glad I shared that with you? And can I advise you to check your next lidded beverage for spiders before you take a drink? You might thank me someday. (I wonder how long it will be before I stop checking my drinks for spiders...) So... what else have I been doing other than almost swallowing spiders, you ask? Well, trying to use my time wisely, for one thing, because it seems to be in scarce supply these days. It seems that the famous "supply and demand" principle applies to time, too. Since Timothy joined our family, it seems that I have less free time than I used to. And since I started helping out with worship at church in December, I have even less time. (I have been really leading worship, though. And I enjoy having Timothy around too. : ) Even if he is perfecting the "Mommmeeeeeee" plea.) Well, aside from taking care of my wonderful family and helping at church on Sundays, I have also been preparing for our upcoming 3rd annual Grove Community Church women's retreat! It's coming up February 20-22 (in case any of you want to join us!!!) AND I have the absolute privilege and honor of getting to speak at 3 of the 4 sessions!!! I am extremely excited and hopefully I'll take some time in the coming weeks to share with you what I'm studying and learning in preparation for it. Last year it was an amazing experience to share with the ladies at one of the sessions about God's LOVE and to lead the worship at the retreat, but God began several months ago to start moving me toward volunteering to speak at our retreat this year instead of leading worship again. To be honest, it was scary to volunteer because the ladies were considering someone from another church (with more experience) and a Beth Moore video series and compared to either of them, I felt quite inexperienced (for good reason!) and a bit intimidated. But I also wasn't feeling passionate about leading worship this year and there were a couple of other girls who were and I was feeling quite strongly about wanting to share/speak. So I spoke up and eventually it was decided that I would do it (with another gal speaking at the Sat. evening session.) It's definitely a step of faith (for me and the other women who said I can do it!), but quite appropriate because I'm talking about trusting God and believing we are who HE says we are. I'm actually basing the bulk of what I'm talking about on the book TrueFaced, so at least I'm not completely on my own. And do you want to know something very amazing? Just this week I found a friend on Facebook who I knew in college and haven't talked to since then (=quite a few years ago!) and it turns out she GOES TO THE CHURCH started by and pastored by 2 of the 3 authors of TrueFaced. I am wondering why God has reconnected us at just this time when I'm working on this... because it can't be a coincidence. : ) Well, that's all for the moment. I have so much more I wish I could tell you... like about how God has even been preparing Lowell and Timothy for the weekend I'll be gone. (Lowell takes care of Timo on the mornings when I'm playing+singing at church and Timo has turned into a major "Daddy's Boy!" as a result of it. So amazing! It will be SO MUCH EASIER for me to leave knowing how much they have already connected lately.) I can't wait to tell you more sometime soon... : ) Melissa PS I don't think I mentioned it, but every Jan 1st, I try to ask God what He wants to teach me about that year. This year He wants to teach me about ministry. And He gave me this passage to memorize: "Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God. Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God. He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant, not of the letter, but of the Spirit, for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life." 2 Cor. 3:4-6 As part of a challenge on Beth Moore's blog, I'm memorizing scripture 2x a month. It's nice to have close to 3,500 others doing the same thing (picking our own verses.) I'm hoping to post about it... but no promises! (If only they would all come exercise with me, too!) Anyone else want to join the fun??? Let me know if you decide to!