Rain

The gray sky outside is dripping big fat drops of rain.

Lightning flashes.  (Wow, that was close.)

The drops splash on the window.

The thunder rolls.

And it seems to fit with the gray in my heart today.

It reminds me of something someone said once...

That all sunshine and no rain would make me a desert inside.

(It's hailing now.)  (Wow!  That's a lot of hail!)

It reminds me that in the summertime, when there is nothing but sun,

I don't appreciate it anymore.

I hide from it.

All sun and no rain...  isn't always that much fun.

But sunshine after the rain???

Sunshine after the clouds???

There's nothing like it.

Like a sunrise after a long night...

So, Lord, I say thank You.

Thank You for the ways rainy days in my heart can water my roots.

Thank You for the ways rain clears the air in my mind.

Thank You for the ways hard days can make me stronger.

Thank You for the ways my weakness can make room for You to be glorified.

Thank You for teaching me to depend on You.

Thank You for seasons that come and go and all have a purpose.

Thank You for the excitement of thunder and lightning.

Thank You for the thrill of engaging in the real Battle.

Thank You for promises of victory.

Thank You for promises of Your Presence and Your Power.

Thank You for the rain.

Day 27

Shhhh...

Yesterday wasn't really Day 26.  It was Day 25.  Oops.  I feel like I just went back in time a little bit. I also feel like my blogging brain has run out.  I think it had been so long since I'd blogged every day (well...  or anywhere even close) that I was full of ideas and thoughts and words.  Yet now here I am, just a week past midway and I feel like I've run out of things to say.

Perhaps God intended this to happen when He gave me this assignment.

(Pause.)  (Quiet.)  (Listen.)

Clock ticking.

Self breathing.

Refrigerator cooling.

Husband with allergies.

Chair creaking.

Fingers clicking.

Computer fan blowing.

Wind chime ringing outside.

Siren blaring far out there somewhere else.

It is actually the most astounding quiet.  But not for reasons you might thinking of.

It's the quiet in my heart that has caught me off guard.  You see, I'm not exactly used to my head being quiet.  I don't stop to let it be quiet very often.  (Though I am learning.)  (Slowly.)  I was quite busy and felt rather unusually productive today, yet know that tomorrow is coming rather quickly and there is a lot to do.  So I'm surprised to find the quiet inside and thank God sincerely for helping me to grow to this place where the quiet can peacefully exist - inside me of all places!  Considering where I was back even just  six months ago, that is no small thing.

And perhaps that is where I will pick up tomorrow...

Day 25 26

Day 26... Thankful

Well, hi there!  I'm not sure what I'm writing about yet.  I'm tired and would like to go to bed...  but I have this commitment to blog everyday until Easter (except Sundays) (which is the way Lent is traditionally counted anyway according to certain people) so here I am! (There.  Does that count?  Can I say goodbye now?  Hmmm...  I guess I could.  : )  But I think that would be missing the point.)  OK, Lord.  What do I do here?  Because I seriously want to go to bed.  But not without saying something more than this because this isn't worth posting!

Back to Colossians 3:15-17...  Several times there it says to do X, Y & Z with gratitude in your hearts.  You want me to make a list of things I'm grateful for?  Okay...

~Our Evangelism Explosion Life Group and that one of our groups got to lead a guy they met to the Lord tonight.  

~That the hosts of both Life Groups we attend each week feed us there.

~For the ladies I get to pray with every Tuesday morning at our women's prayer group
~That we're halfway done with our internship
~That my hubby gets to preach for the first time ever on Sunday
~That he takes it as such a responsibility and an honor
~That he's going to do a great job
~That people are going to come hear him and cheer him on
~That we're celebrating our FIFTEEN year anniversary next week!!!!!
~That I'm still in love with my husband
~That our kids are doing so well through all the craziness of life
~For grandparents who love to babysit

~For SUNSHINE!!!!!  (Oh, how I love sunshine!!!)  : )
~For the tree on our patio that reminds me of the trees at our old house
~For not being sick anymore like I was over the weekend
~That I have a bed I get to sleep in tonight
~That I have a home that is just the right size for us right now

~For the newsletter we got from a pastor in Peru about their VBS and cell groups and youth.  So cool!
~For Peru
~For the voice of the Shepherd
~That I can go to bed now.

: )  May you go from here paying attention to things you are thankful for...  And may I do the same!

¡Buenas Noches!

Day 26

Climbing to Victory

I have often felt through the years like I was wobbling on a sick teeter-totter with pride on one side and insecurity on the other.  It's not a pleasant place to be.  When I was praying with a friend the other day, God helped me see that pride and insecurity are not opposites of each other like I had been thinking, so trying to find a middle spot between them is never going to end well.  Instead God started giving me a picture that has been really helpful.  

Instead of an unstable teeter-totter, imagine a strong three legged ladder.  We had one of these at our old house...  inherited (I believe) from Lowell's grandpa.  These ladders are the best for picking fruit because they are so stable.  You don't need level ground and you don't end up wobbling back and forth like on a traditional ladder.  Anyway...  at the bottom of the left leg is PRIDE, while the the left leg itself represents pride's true opposite: HUMILITY.  At the bottom of the right leg is INSECURITY, while the right leg represents CONFIDENCE IN GOD.  At the bottom of the back leg is SELF-RELIANCE while that leg itself represents DEPENDENCE ON GOD.  Does that make sense?

So instead of wallowing between pride and insecurity (which are both rooted in self-reliance) and staying stuck on the ground, I can climb to VICTORY IN CHRIST through humility & confidence in God - rooted in total dependence on Him.  I like picturing the three legs not being based on pride, insecurity & self-reliance, but staking a claim of victory on them instead.  Declaring that I'm NOT giving into them but am going to humbly & confidently rely on God.

Humility triumphs over pride.

Confidence in God triumphs over insecurity.

Dependence on God triumphs over self-reliance.

Hallelujah!

"Such confidence as this is ours through Christ before God.  Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.  He has made us competent as ministers of a new covenant - not of the letter, but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."  2 Corinthians 3:4-6

Just like climbing a real ladder, climbing this ladder takes FAITH.  But the fruit of VICTORY is at the top, and it's totally worth the climb.  : )

Day 24

This Season of Easter

Posted by my husband on our family blog the other day...

I spent most of the day yesterday holed up in the back corner of Hiebert Library at Fresno Pacific University.  It was a nice, quiet place to work on my first sermon that I will be giving in a few weeks (with a whole lot of influence, I am trusting, from the Holy Spirit!).  As I read through some excellent books on the topic, and spent some time in the Word, I realized that too often I have passed through this season of Easter without stopping to fully consider the meaning of it.

I was once again impacted by the severity of what Jesus suffered for us at the cross, and the immense mystery that is the cross.  It is so easy to gloss over the details, the vivid horror that presents itself in those verses in the Gospels about this part of Jesus' life and death.  But that is really it, isn't it?  A turning point in history.  A life changer for all of us.

I just found a website that offers an online devotional during the 40 days of Lent.  As of today, we are already 20 days in, but I would encourage you to consider looking at the last 20 days.  It can be found at http://www.soulatrest.com/.

Take care, and may you find great meaning and understanding in the Cross this month.

Lowell

Content Anyway

Well.  Today did not turn out the way I had planned.  Every year for the last 20 years(!) I have been at the MCC Sale - almost always on both Friday and Saturday.  There was great food, neat things and (my favorite!) lots and lots of people to see!  It was like a homecoming reunion of sorts every year.  To top it off, for most of the years since we've been married (which will be 15 this month!) we have hosted or helped host a party after the Sale where our college friends from in and out of town and we would get together and the kids could run around in an enclosed space where we could relax without worrying about them getting lost in the crowds and we could all get caught up on life.  

So while I did make it to the Sale last night, I realized before we left that I was getting sick - achy, fever, chills kind of sick.  So instead of catching up with old friends there and at the party after today, I caught up with my pillow and Tivo.  While my family was out being social, I stayed in and enjoyed the quiet.

I also missed going to see Beth Moore this weekend - right here in my home town!  I had already decided a couple of weeks ago that it was going to be too much to try to squeeze in her event last night and this morning into this weekend.  It took some pretty clear direction from God to show me I would survive not seeing her this weekend and I'm so glad I had already determined to agree with God and be content.  Because if I'd had my heart set on that plus the rest and had to miss it all today I would have been very disappointed.  

But that was the thing I was so thankful for today.  I was content and at peace.  Even knowing this was quite likely the last MCC Sale and post-Sale party I would be attending for maybe a very long time.  I was okay.  I was thankful for a quiet place to rest and people to help my husband with the kids while they were out.  I didn't do a lot of serious meditating or anything (my brain was too tired), but did get to play around with redesigning my blog layout.  If you're on the actual blog and not in a reader, you'll see the name has changed...  

It's been 2 years since I last changed the name and it didn't seem to fit with where I am anymore, so I thought some more about the blog address (musingmelissa.blogspot.com) and looked up some definitions of musing and decided that was it!  Why be complicated?  So now the name of the blog matches the name of the blogsite.  Hopefully it won't be confusing to people for too long.  : )

OK.  Bye for now!  : )

Day 23