Funny... trails can turn into trials with just the switch of two letters. : ) But thankfully, this trail was no trial. We enjoyed our trip to Oregon to visit the New Hope Bible Church in Grants Pass so very much. I wrote a couple of posts on our other blog about our time there...
This one about our trip up there and this one about our time there.
Happy trails to you!
Monday, August 08, 2011
Thursday, August 04, 2011
31 Days?
One of my favorite blogs is Emily Freeman's... Chatting at the Sky She is an amazing writer who I found last October when she was doing a series called 31 Days of Grace. She and some other people out in Bloggyland are each doing a different series of 31 Days of Something and encouraging others to consider doing the same. (Intrigued? Check out her post here.)
So after doing my Lent series last Spring, I'm thinking that a Fall series might be a good thing. Maybe. But, I’m torn. In October I just might be in the middle of packing up our life to move to Peru. So I don’t know if that means it would be ridiculous to do something like this or that it would be a really good time to do something like this b/c it would be therapeutic for me. (Because we all know I'm gonna need some therapy!)
And since I can always change my mind, I’m gonna dream about it for now. I think my 31 days would be 31 Days of Songs from My Heart… sharing songs I’ve written (at least the lyrics… not sure about ability/time to include more) and some of the stories behind them. (And yes, I do have that many that I've written and more. And counting.) (I just get shy about sharing them.)
(And I know there's no law that says I have to wait until October or that I have to do it in October. But I don't know very many people that run marathons by themselves. So there is something to be said for doing it at the same time others are... Otherwise I might not ever do it!)
So we'll see! Let me know what you think! : )
You just might be able to persuade me... ; )
Tuesday, August 02, 2011
Genesis, Joseph & Me
I just finished reading the book of Genesis. The last 14 chapters are primarily about Joseph and the rest of the sons of Jacob/Israel. The story of Joseph's brothers showing up in his presence and bowing before him and the whole elaborate process Joseph put them through before he let them know who he was is quite a story. Today it brought me to tears as I imagined the brothers being reunited after so much time apart - the emotions and tension heightened by the guilt and fear the brothers carried with them as they were faced with their sin yet again. Grace and mercy extended by the one they had betrayed.
But the thing that leaves me puzzled at the end of the story is that they stayed in Egypt long after the famine was over. And it doesn't really say why (at least not there). Joseph was only 30 when he was dramatically released from jail and put in charge of the whole country. The little told rest of the story about the famine I discovered today is that while the famine progressed and the country ran out of food and money to buy more grain, the people sold more and more of their lives to Pharaoh. First their money. Next their livestock. Finally their land and themselves into slavery. They were alive, but they belonged to Pharaoh.
Apparently because those were Joseph's instructions. Interesting! I still think, though, that Joseph could have purchased back his family and all of their offspring and property and sent them back to Canaan. They all could have gone back to the land God said was to be theirs. So why didn't they?
Perhaps they knew that others had taken over their land and they were afraid to go back. Perhaps it was just too nice and comfy in Egypt with their little brother taking care of them all. All we know is that they stayed in Egypt and over the course of the next 400 years, the story takes a turn for an even bigger drama than what Joseph experienced in his dramatic life. The selling as a slave, rise to favor in Potiphar's household, false accusation, imprisonment, release and rise to power again in Joseph's life is a foreshadow of the dramatic story the whole people of Israel would experience.
So what can I learn from this? God is working on some deep stuff in my heart these days. I have to trust that He is the One who is guiding me through these seasons and that He is Sovereign. The story of Joseph shouts of God's Sovereign power and His plans to use for good what the enemy intended for evil in our lives. I can trust that. I have to trust that!
For a few weeks now I have been pondering Psalm 139 and at the end the psalmist asks God to search and examine his heart, to know his anxious thoughts. The words indicate to me more than an invitation for God to look inside me because God already knows what is there! It's an invitation for God to expose and reveal what is inside and to let me know what is there. As I have prayed, God has been faithful to answer and show me some of the sources of anxiety and fear in my life and I don't like it. The process is hard and at times the way seems dark and intimidating. So I rely on God to walk with me through the process and like the last verse in the Psalm says, I trust and expect God to "lead me in the way everlasting." The process must have been confusing for Joseph and eventually the Israelites over the course of the next 400 years, but God knew what He was doing. He always knows and has a plan and a reason. He is wise and loving and gracious and compassionate and His mercy is new every single morning.
And for that I am so thankful. Lead me on, Lord.
But the thing that leaves me puzzled at the end of the story is that they stayed in Egypt long after the famine was over. And it doesn't really say why (at least not there). Joseph was only 30 when he was dramatically released from jail and put in charge of the whole country. The little told rest of the story about the famine I discovered today is that while the famine progressed and the country ran out of food and money to buy more grain, the people sold more and more of their lives to Pharaoh. First their money. Next their livestock. Finally their land and themselves into slavery. They were alive, but they belonged to Pharaoh.
Apparently because those were Joseph's instructions. Interesting! I still think, though, that Joseph could have purchased back his family and all of their offspring and property and sent them back to Canaan. They all could have gone back to the land God said was to be theirs. So why didn't they?
Perhaps they knew that others had taken over their land and they were afraid to go back. Perhaps it was just too nice and comfy in Egypt with their little brother taking care of them all. All we know is that they stayed in Egypt and over the course of the next 400 years, the story takes a turn for an even bigger drama than what Joseph experienced in his dramatic life. The selling as a slave, rise to favor in Potiphar's household, false accusation, imprisonment, release and rise to power again in Joseph's life is a foreshadow of the dramatic story the whole people of Israel would experience.
So what can I learn from this? God is working on some deep stuff in my heart these days. I have to trust that He is the One who is guiding me through these seasons and that He is Sovereign. The story of Joseph shouts of God's Sovereign power and His plans to use for good what the enemy intended for evil in our lives. I can trust that. I have to trust that!
For a few weeks now I have been pondering Psalm 139 and at the end the psalmist asks God to search and examine his heart, to know his anxious thoughts. The words indicate to me more than an invitation for God to look inside me because God already knows what is there! It's an invitation for God to expose and reveal what is inside and to let me know what is there. As I have prayed, God has been faithful to answer and show me some of the sources of anxiety and fear in my life and I don't like it. The process is hard and at times the way seems dark and intimidating. So I rely on God to walk with me through the process and like the last verse in the Psalm says, I trust and expect God to "lead me in the way everlasting." The process must have been confusing for Joseph and eventually the Israelites over the course of the next 400 years, but God knew what He was doing. He always knows and has a plan and a reason. He is wise and loving and gracious and compassionate and His mercy is new every single morning.
And for that I am so thankful. Lead me on, Lord.
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Kid Steps
I wrote last night over at our other blog about another part of the process... So click on over!
And if you haven't already added our other blog to your reader subscriptions or subscribed to it by email, I'd encourage you to do that too... We even got our own official domain name.
www.ensfamily.org
Easy! I might start writing more over there and less over here. Though I'm reluctant to leave this little space of mine on the www permanently... : )
See ya there!
And if you haven't already added our other blog to your reader subscriptions or subscribed to it by email, I'd encourage you to do that too... We even got our own official domain name.
www.ensfamily.org
Easy! I might start writing more over there and less over here. Though I'm reluctant to leave this little space of mine on the www permanently... : )
See ya there!
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Resting
This has been a really great week. We had a nice day off on Monday after a very busy Sunday and yesterday I got to take a partial-day prayer retreat.
(Ahhhhhh...................)
Here are a few pictures from our Monday...
Brothers playing together while their sister was out clothes shopping WITH HER DAD!
I'm so happy to have this tree in our patio. We had several of these at our house and I just love them!
Hot, fresh out of the oven bread.
There are so many wasps around this place... I'm thankful nobody has been stung!
Can you see the pollen on this bee's legs? Amazing! And do you know that it's really hard to take pictures of bees? They are always moving... (Made me think it's another thing I have in common with honeybees...)
We've had a family of doves nesting above the boys' window. Fun to watch them, although one of the babies mysteriously disappeared today. Hoping it had nothing to do with the cat Lowell saw this morning!
Sunflowers from our dessert Sunday night... It was so wonderful to be with our friends from our home church. We shared with them, they prayed for us, we ate yummy desserts and we felt loved.
God is good. I am thankful.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Wrestling with Rest
We took a vacation last week. It was exactly what I was hoping for on so many levels. Memorable. Happy kids. Lots of pictures. The Train Museum, panning for gold, one-room school houses, huge fireworks, s'mores, lakes, miles and miles, BREATHTAKING vistas of the back side of the Sierra Nevada mountains that I've marveled at from this side for years without remembering from childhood trips what they looked like from the back. 
And yet... in spite of everything going so well and being so delightful, I wrestled.
IT. IS. SO. HARD. FOR. ME. TO. RELAX. I would wonder and ask you if I am the only one who has trouble resting on vacations, but I know I'm not. Even when we were out there and the wrestling match was in full swing, I read these words written by Emily:
No matter where you go, the list-making, future-looking whir will follow you. You can sit outside a bakery on a street in Paris and be miserable for all the noise in your head. You can watch the calm ocean waters and the deep blue sky as they mock you with all their peace and quiet. You can breathe in the deep mountain air right along with your worries. It isn’t the place that brings peace.
So I know I'm not alone. This particular time, there were several factors feeding into my restlessness. I've had several painful "buttons" "pushed" recently and there has been a wave of emotions triggered because of it. And being on vacation gives me all sorts of time for the emotions to surface. I read something else the week before our trip about how people are often unprepared for the sense of grief and loss that often surfaces during sabbaticals. I get that. I know I can be so busy with life and work and serving and ministering and playing that in a way, I constantly anesthetize the pain in my life. It's not that that's always bad... but when the pain is finally felt... well, I typically want to run away. Turn on the computer and wander around Facebook or read other people's blogs or watch TV. But this last week that wasn't really an option.
Still, I tried not to face the feelings that were swelling under the surface. I fought them, attempted to suppress them, and I stayed busy washing the few dishes we had to wash and taking care of the kids and arranging sleeping bags in the tent and whatever else - just about anything but get away by myself for a while with God to work on whatever was bothering me.
My heart eventually calmed down. With a few good chunks of time with God and a couple of good conversations with Lowell, I was actually able to thoroughly enjoy the last few days of our trip. I've also learned a few more things about myself and some of my tendencies - as well as what helps to relieve the emotional pressure when it starts building.
One of the things I've concluded is that like curvy roads make me carsick, transitions in life make me not feel so well. eMotion sickness or something like that. : ) And just like I'm the only one in my current family who gets sick on the curves (PRAISE GOD!!!), I react differently to transitions than the rest of my family does too. And just like it hurt me like crazy when I got my ears pierced even though some people hardly feel it, other things in life hurt me more than they hurt other people.
BUT how funny is it that even though I almost didn't get my second ear pierced because the first one hurt so much, I gave birth to two babies without any kind of drugs??? Ahhh... well, I think the rest of this story is going to have to wait for another blog post.
I noticed when I was typing "wrestle" up there that the word REST is right in the middle of WRESTLE. Funny, isn't it? : ) May you, too, learn how to REST even in the middle of whatever you may be wrestling with. Go to Jesus... He promises to help you. (Matthew 11:28-29) And you, too, will find rest for your soul.
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