PRIDE. Bad, evil stuff. (OK... before I write more I have to go deal with the security light outside that keeps turning on and off and blinding me off and on. Be right back...)
(I'm sure there is a reason I had to include that piece of non-information, but I don't know what it is yet. Maybe I just think you'll be amused by my rambling about stuff that is completely unrelated to the point.) (And I do have one, by the way...)
Anyway, back here I was thinking about pride and humility and insecurity and confidence. I was praying for God to deal with my pride because, to be honest with you, pride scares me. I know how much trouble it can get people into. I know God doesn't ignore it. And... I think I'm also afraid of the public humiliation that could happen if God needed to deal with my pride. Which... probably means I have some pride issues that need to be dealt with.
(Did you follow that?) The fact that I'm afraid of pride is actually an indication that I already have pride that needs to be humbled. (But I didn't recognize that until just now.) So because I was so scared of pride (and because I know humility is God's way) I prayed for God to deal with my pride. I hoped it wouldn't be too painful. It was painful anyway.
But in the process, I feel like I've discovered a secret that has actually been right in front of me forever. Like Toby's medicine last night that was right in front of me when I was looking all over the house for it. Like my keys that were hanging on the hook but I couldn't see them because there was something else hiding them.) But finally, like the flashing security light (see? I knew it would tie in!) the truth God has shown me about pride has brought some much needed clarity and revelation. And freedom.
Want a clue? Look at Matthew 11:28-30. I'll explain more tomorrow. In the meantime, are you afraid of being humbled like I am? Have you ever thought before about "fear of being humbled" actually being pride in disguise?
(I'm sure there is a reason I had to include that piece of non-information, but I don't know what it is yet. Maybe I just think you'll be amused by my rambling about stuff that is completely unrelated to the point.) (And I do have one, by the way...)
Anyway, back here I was thinking about pride and humility and insecurity and confidence. I was praying for God to deal with my pride because, to be honest with you, pride scares me. I know how much trouble it can get people into. I know God doesn't ignore it. And... I think I'm also afraid of the public humiliation that could happen if God needed to deal with my pride. Which... probably means I have some pride issues that need to be dealt with.
(Did you follow that?) The fact that I'm afraid of pride is actually an indication that I already have pride that needs to be humbled. (But I didn't recognize that until just now.) So because I was so scared of pride (and because I know humility is God's way) I prayed for God to deal with my pride. I hoped it wouldn't be too painful. It was painful anyway.
But in the process, I feel like I've discovered a secret that has actually been right in front of me forever. Like Toby's medicine last night that was right in front of me when I was looking all over the house for it. Like my keys that were hanging on the hook but I couldn't see them because there was something else hiding them.) But finally, like the flashing security light (see? I knew it would tie in!) the truth God has shown me about pride has brought some much needed clarity and revelation. And freedom.
Want a clue? Look at Matthew 11:28-30. I'll explain more tomorrow. In the meantime, are you afraid of being humbled like I am? Have you ever thought before about "fear of being humbled" actually being pride in disguise?
Day 36
I´m not sure that the fear of being humbled is an indication of pride. I think it´s an indication of fear, perhaps of being exposed and ashamed. And I do think God can humble us but He doesn´t want to humiliate us. Does that make sense? Maybe we can be afraid of being humbled, but our biggest fear is probably of being humiliated. It´s similar to what you wrote about regarding shame, remember? In all of this something that might be worth keeping in mind... I DO think God wants us to be confident, but putting our confidence in the right place. In Him of course but then in who we are in Him. Psychologically confidence IS important and it´s not the same as pride. Pride is insecurity all dressed up. When we know who we are (in Christ- broken but loved, fallible but accepted, jars of clay with treasure inside), pride isn´t necessary. And pride scares me, too. It scares me because it "comes before the fall" and I don´t want to have to fall flat on my face to recognize it. So anyhow... hope my ramblings help your ramblings :). I don´t think again God wants to humiliate us... but to let us see who we are in Him and yes, how much we need Him, so our confidence can be in the right place. Hope that makes sense :).
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