Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Waiting for Harvest

Hi there.  I can't seem to wrap words around what's going on in my head or heart these days.  Which is why I keep starting blog posts and not finishing them.
Or maybe I don't want to wrap words around what's going on.  Maybe I just don't want to talk about it because I don't like it.
I don't like it when I am fighting feeling discouraged.

I don't like when I'm feeling confused about how to manage my time.

I don't like how transitions in schedules and routines throw me off so much.

I don't like knowing that we've done some things we wanted to do during our internship but that we weren't able to do it all.

I don't like feeling overwhelmed and tired.

I don't like having to work to be thankful and feeling guilty for not being more thankful.
So I haven't wanted to talk about it.  But somehow it feels like I need to.  Not out of obligation, but out of purpose.  I need people to pray for me and I need them to know what I need prayer for.  If I'm not willing to say it, how will they know?  How will you know?

So because I KNOW God is faithful to hear and respond to our prayers and because I know that many of our faithful prayer supporters will read this and pray, I invite you to join in praying for me...

That I will not grow weary or discouraged as we finish our internship and dive fully into fundraising.
That I will keep my eyes on the Lord and not on others for approval.
That I will hold unswervingly to the hope I profess because He is faithful. (Heb. 10:23)
That I would let God's peace reign in my heart because I have been called to peace. (Col. 3:15)
That my quiet times with God would bear fruit and that I would be patient when I don't see the fruit at first.
Hmm.  I took these pictures last week sometime when I was thinking about focus and how my days are lacking focus.  (Kids being out of school and other changes have made it more challenging for me to focus my time and energy.  It's a weakness of mine I am PAINFULLY aware of.)  As I was taking pictures of the little jalapenos, I realized that while I was focused on one tomato or pepper or zucchini that was growing, there were other little (or bigger!) ones around I hadn't even noticed at first.  (The second pictures are all the ones where I noticed what I had missed at first.)
I know God is at work.  He's my faithful Gardner and Father (John 15).  He is allowing me to go through these times and at the very least it is preparation for transitions in the future.  He will not give up.  He has a plan.  He has a timeline.  He has a purpose for all of this... for every single step. And someday there will be a harvest if we do not give up.

Lord, every time I look at the plants growing on our patio or eat a peach or anything else someone has harvested, let me remember Paul's encouragement and Your promise: 
"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time
we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9)
Keep teaching me about the power of HOPE.  I believe, Lord, that if I put my hope in You I will not be disappointed!  (Isaiah 49:23) You are so good. I put my hope in You.


  1. Oh Mel, I feel for you. Honestly I think this is just more grieving, more adjusting for you. And yes, though I surely agree this has a purpose, I also believe it´s completely human for you to feel this way. Completely normal. And I´m glad you´re giving us a chance to know how you are...

    I don´t know how you normally react to things like these so I ask Jesus (please, Jesus) to help you and give you what you need. Lord I ask that You would show Melissa Your compassion, Your love, and Your tenderness. I ask that she would be able to receive your grace and not have to try so hard. You are a compassionate Savior, tempted like we are, and I ask You to show her that in this time. I ask that she would be able to keep her eyes on You, but in a restful way. That she would be able to lay her burdens down and give them to You.. who asks us to come, when we are tired and heavy-laden.

    I ask the Lord to give you peace, and rest, and grace for yourself, and wisdom. I have this picture in my head of a little bird being protected by a big hand (the Lord´s) during the storm. I know this time isn´t easy for you but I pray that you´d be able to be at peace as that little bird, being sheltered and protected and loved.

    No temptation has overcome us that is not human... and God is faithful to show us a way out. May you cling to that... and rest in Him... He´ll give you all the training and equipping you need by the time you get to Perú. You can trust that :). And just also that He cares immensely for You, and He is ever-present, to help you and walk with you through your days. I pray that He will give you grace and ideas for how to organize your time, but I have a feeling that your feeling confused as to how to use it has more to do with the emotions rising or lurking around in the situation. May He help you in every way, friend. I´ve been dealing with stuff myself (grades, perfectionism, shame, fear, etc). so I´ll try and keep in mind all I´m sharing with you. Love you!

  2. Praying for a peace that surpasses all...

    Overcomers may fail... but they try again. Overcomers may get knocked down... but they get back up. Overcomers may lose the battle... but they win the war. Overcomers may suffer some set backs... but they rise up and recover all.

    The Bible doesn't call us survivors, it calls us overcomers. The Bible does not call us just a conqueror... but it calls us more than a conqueror.

  3. Hey! Is it fair that now these words that I wrote for you are for me now? maybe God had me read your last post about rest and wrestling so I would be prepared... now the unresolved issues just caught up with me. A half hour ago. :( I know that it's good, and for healing, but it still hurts... glad I'm not alone in the journey... our grief and comfort is not just for us, but for others too.


Thanks for sharing your thoughts and heart with me.