Tuesday, March 03, 2009

March Memory Passage #1

Sorry this isn't a fabulous retreat recap. While our retreat was AMAZING because God is AMAZING, since coming home I've been back to life and it's challenges and God is wanting to do some Spring Cleaning in my heart and head (and apparently, my house.) Genesis 1:1-4
1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 The earth was formless and empty, and darkness covered the deep waters. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters. 3 Then God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 And God saw that the light was good. Then he separated the light from the darkness.
I picked this passage because I feel so out of control with my house and "time management." My weakness in this area is consuming me and draining me in a ridiculous way. If you have struggled in this area, you might know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, all of my most wordy and elaborate explanations will never really be able to help you understand my dilemma. So just trust me that it's bad. The Hebrew words that describe what the earth was like in verse 2 imply that the earth was chaos and I feel like I'm living in chaos. I know it's not that bad compared to some people. I know it's not so bad that I can't have people over. I'm not beating myself up here. I just know how much it affects me and my family and I SO want to be done with it. I have tried and tried and made progress but still struggle. Life is fuller (and in MANY ways more wonderful) (and more challenging) than ever around here and I'm thankful for that, but it's making it even more obvious that i NEED God to speak Light and Truth into my chaos. And I'm going to ask Him to do that and expect Him to do that. It's what I "preached" about at the retreat! Trusting God's grace to do the work in our hearts because we can't do it with our efforts... We have to approach Him in humility and confidence in His ability and desire to do what we cannot do. Whether it's set us free from our sin or help us in our weakness. His grace is sufficient and His power is made perfect in my weakness and that's what I'm after. So now you know. : )


  1. Don't forget that you are now the proud Mama of an under-two-year old. Toddlers have a way of dismantling clean houses and orderly schedules, just by being a part of our lives. Maybe its the lack of sleep that affects the brain :)

  2. This is one thing we have in common. I SOOOOOOOOOOO understand. I think I really do... I have struggled with this for so long and have prayed about it and tried many different things. I even came to the conclusion at one point that God must want me this way because I can't seem to change. The most progress I've made (or that He's made in me) is my peace about it. It varies from time to time, but in general I've come a long way. My house and time management (yes, both) are sometimes in order, sometimes completely chaotic. That doesn't seem to change. But I am incredibly understanding with other people and their homes, (and life organization, or rather DISorganization) and even their judgment of me when they step into my house.
    I like the verse you chose and your thoughts. Even if it's all undone again tomorrow, we must seek out God's orderliness for today, and lean on His strength to sustain us and give us peace. He did create order out of chaos in the world, and He does it in us too (even if over and over again!) And His strength IS made perfect in our weakness!

  3. Melissa,

    Of course I can relate! You know!!! Sometimes I think God put "messy" on my personality so I wouldn´t go insane with how perfectionistic I´ve been. :). I read your newest blog too (november). It describes a lot of what I´ve been feeling too... not knowing what´s going on. And wanting to understand and know. And solve at least some of it. But the Lord has reminded me of His love... and this, just so that you´ll laugh! When I had my surgery this summer, I was under local anesthesia. The doctor thought it best. So I couldn´t talk much, but did talk some. Later I couldn´t remember half of what I said though. But the doctor, master surgeon, said at one point, "Stop talking so much!". So there. Just so you see how much I love talking and understanding what he was doing, and he would gracefully respond... but then there was a time to shut up. Hope the thawing of the winter and the beauty of the spring comes in its beautiful slow but sure way. The slowness I hope for is just so that God will let you see the little flowers on the melting ice and that you don´t miss it. Love you!!! And... thanks for being there for me in spite of this wintery time for you!!!


Thanks for sharing your thoughts and heart with me.