Waiting for Harvest

 

Hi there.  I can't seem to wrap words around what's going on in my head or heart these days.  Which is why I keep starting blog posts and not finishing them.

Or maybe I don't want to wrap words around what's going on.  Maybe I just don't want to talk about it because I don't like it.

I don't like it when I am fighting feeling discouraged.

I don't like when I'm feeling confused about how to manage my time.

I don't like how transitions in schedules and routines throw me off so much.

I don't like knowing that we've done some things we wanted to do during our internship but that we weren't able to do it all.

I don't like feeling overwhelmed and tired.

I don't like having to work to be thankful and feeling guilty for not being more thankful.

So I haven't wanted to talk about it.  But somehow it feels like I need to.  Not out of obligation, but out of purpose.  I need people to pray for me and I need them to know what I need prayer for.  If I'm not willing to say it, how will they know?  How will you know?

So because I KNOW God is faithful to hear and respond to our prayers and because I know that many of our faithful prayer supporters will read this and pray, I invite you to join in praying for me...

That I will not grow weary or discouraged as we finish our internship and dive fully into fundraising.
That I will keep my eyes on the Lord and not on others for approval.
That I will hold unswervingly to the hope I profess because He is faithful. (Heb. 10:23)
That I would let God's peace reign in my heart because I have been called to peace. (Col. 3:15)
That my quiet times with God would bear fruit and that I would be patient when I don't see the fruit at first.

Hmm.  I took these pictures last week sometime when I was thinking about focus and how my days are lacking focus.  (Kids being out of school and other changes have made it more challenging for me to focus my time and energy.  It's a weakness of mine I am PAINFULLY aware of.)  As I was taking pictures of the little jalapenos, I realized that while I was focused on one tomato or pepper or zucchini that was growing, there were other little (or bigger!) ones around I hadn't even noticed at first.  (The second pictures are all the ones where I noticed what I had missed at first.)

I know God is at work.  He's my faithful Gardner and Father (John 15).  He is allowing me to go through these times and at the very least it is preparation for transitions in the future.  He will not give up.  He has a plan.  He has a timeline.  He has a purpose for all of this... for every single step. And someday there will be a harvest if we do not give up.

Lord, every time I look at the plants growing on our patio or eat a peach or anything else someone has harvested, let me remember Paul's encouragement and Your promise: 

"Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time

we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." (Galatians 6:9)

Keep teaching me about the power of HOPE.  I believe, Lord, that if I put my hope in You I will not be disappointed!  (Isaiah 49:23) You are so good. I put my hope in You.