On the Verge...

Verge.  What a strange word.  According to my favorite online dictionary it means:

1.  the edge, rim, or margin of something.

2.  the limit or point beyond which something begins or occurs; brink

3.  a limiting belt, strip, or border of something

There are actually another 10 definitions for "verge" (inluding "a palletlike lever formerly used in inexpensive pendulum clocks".  Huh.  Who knew?) (I know...  who cares?)

Ummm, I thought I was on the verge of saying something meaningful...  Let's see...

These days I feel like I'm on the verge of many things.  On the verge of catching up with my studies... (I was for a while, anyway.)  On the verge of tears...  On the verge of being in the US...  (We are living only a few miles from the US/Canada border.)  Pretty soon we'll be on the verge of finishing our training.  Probably most significantly, we're on the verge of having an official missions assignment.  In the next few weeks, we'll know where MBMSI is going to send us!  (Assuming, that is, that they still want us on their team...!)  This stirs up a lot of mixed feelings.  It's exciting, but also a bit intimidating.  We've never done this before!

I am so grateful for how God sends me courage just when I need it.  I'm so thankful that He has been showing me over the last weeks that HE is the initiator in His kingdom and my job is just to RESPOND.  I don't need to overthink all of this.  It would be really easy for God to tell us not to do this.  (God has stopped us from doing lots of other things through the years).  On the other hand, there has been nothing easy about getting us to this point!!!  : )

It's actually been quite a climb.  And we're on the verge of seeing what's over the horizon.  Wow.  It's not often in life that I am so keenly aware that I am in the middle of a life changing season.  Maybe I'm on the verge of being over-dramatic here, but this really feels like a big deal.  Bigger than I can wrap my head around.  

So I think I'll stop trying to stretch my brain big enough to grasp the "big-ness" of what's going on and just keep on keeping my eyes on Christ.  He's doing so many really important things in my heart and mind these days.  I'm learning so much.  God is such a good teacher.  : )  

(And, by the way...  I am saying "I" a lot in this, even though Lowell and I are obviously in this together.  But my husband, as strong as he might be, isn't strong enough to drag me along if I haven't made up my mind.  We choose together, but we have to choose on our own as well.)

Anyway, it goes back to being a Responder.  Back in April, the day before we came up to Canada for the first real step of our interview process, I wrote this (almost) song:

It is written that I am the clay and You are the Potter

My life is yours to mold, shape and guide

Through the fire... But Lord, You are so much more

To this one who depends on You

To lead me through this life

I want to live for You

I am the clay, You are the Potter

I am the arrow, You are the Archer

With Your hand on my heart, guiding my path

You are my Shepherd, I'm Your little lamb

I might be the singer, but You are the song

I'm a tool in your hand as You build the Kingdom

I'm a branch, but You are the Vine,

The Gardener and the Life flowing in me

If I am a soldier, You're my Commander

If I am a pen, You are the Writer

If I have a story, it's Yours to author and tell

I am Your child, You are my Father

Fulfill your plans and destiny for me Lord

If You have a mission, I'll be Your missionary...

You have a dream...

I'll dream it with You...

Use me Lord.

God is issuing me a grand invitation to a whole new life serving in His Kingdom.  All I have to do is RSVP.  "Répondez s'il vous plaît."  Respond, if you please...

Wherever, whenever, Lord.  I trust You.  I'll be there.