Yes, We 're still alive

Slowly getting over jetlag and trying to find a new routine... I have 2 boys sitting on me at the moment (though one of them doesn't stay anywhere for long) and it seems that this time is as good as any to try to post something. I used to write in the evenings after my kids were in bed, but this last week I've been so tired when 8pm rolls around that it's all I can do to make sure I have bottles ready for the night wakings and eventually fall into bed.

It's not like that all day long... I'm not too tired during the day anymore - it just hits me hard in the evenings. And during the day I'm feeling pulled in so many directions trying to take care of all the kids and the house (and myself?) that all the time I used to use for blogging is needed for other stuff at the moment.

But I'm not giving up or going to let myself get discouraged. As of today, we've only been home for a week... I was talking with God this morning about how to keep from being negative about the crushed cheerios on the floor and the piles of laundry and the little boy who doesn't want to sleep anymore and my grumpiness. He reminded me that "the joy of the Lord is my strength" - not the joy of life... and I have to keep my eyes on Him and not just try to look on the bright side of my circumstances. Sometimes that's enough - but not always.

Matthew 14:22-32 tells this story... (Jesus had just fed 500 men + women and kids with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, by the way.)

"Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it. During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid." "Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water." "Come," he said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God." "

We have just come through an amazing few months. This morning as I read through a list of things I was asking and trusting God to do regarding our trip to Thailand, there was not ONE THING I could point to and say God didn't answer. He was challenging me then to believe Him and the challenge remains for this portion of the journey. Will I get overwhelmed by paying attention to the waves and the wind or will I keep my eyes on Jesus? That's my challenge for today... To keep my eyes on Him and keep listening to Him and believing Him so I don't sink in the cheerios and laundry and dishes, but knowing all along that even when I doubt and start to fall, that I can cry out to Him to save me - and He will every time.

Blessings to you all!

~Melissa