It's Official!

Our official paperwork is on its way to Thailand and we're officially on the waiting list for our adoption!  It's actually a bit anti-climactic, to be honest with you.  Like I said the other day, we still have to do a couple more things (like get fingerprinted again 2 more times), but those things won't affect the timing of our being matched or going to get our child.  So after all the hoopla and running and gathering...  now we get to wait.  It's like running a marathon and getting to a pit stop...  and having no idea how long you'll have to wait there until you get to move on (and then go to another long pit stop.)  We probably have about 7 months before we're matched with a child and then another 7-9 months before we get to bring him/her home.  But I don't really know!!!!!  Today after I got off the phone with our adoption agency, I almost immediately started trying to calculate the earliest we might get matched (based on the variables we know about) and I figured out later that I was sort of trying to calculate our "due date".  When Lowell and I found out I was pregnant with our two kids I think one of the very first things I did was check online at babycenter.com to figure out when I was probably due.  I just like knowing what the possibilities are.  I think it makes me feel in control somehow.  Or at least a little more prepared. 

 

When I was getting ready for labor and delivery, I read up extensively on natural childbirth figuring that if I went into it with as many options as possible it was like having a well-stocked toolbox.  And it worked for me both times.  But while some elements of this "pregnancy" are the same (thinking about names, wondering about gender), it's also very different.  There are so many more variables.  But the hardest thing is this: thinking about it too much hurts.  I can't think about all the options and imagine what our child is doing right now (he/she is almost certainly born already) or even pray for him or her too much or I find myself getting even more attached to this child I've never yet really known.  And it's painful to be attached to a child on the other side of the world who is someday going to be your very own, but isn't yet.  I already know that much.

 

So.  I think it would be appropriate, at the very least, for our family to have a celebration when we get these last loose ends tied up and the last fingers printed.  It will be good to celebrate making it this far and being one huge step closer to getting to hold our Little One in our arms at last.  We're on our way and God is good.

 

J Melissa